Pain of Love
by skatergirl94
Summary: Part 1 of the series. "Then I heard a voice inside my head, telling me to stay where I was. Not to move. 'My name is Renee Walker,' she added."
1. Change

_Writers Note: Hi everyone. This is the first time I've ever written a fanfic or ever posted my work so I love that your all reading it. I just want you to know that this is not a regular Jack and Renee story. It's mainly based on the main character Lucy and how she over comes the tragedy that has happened to her, meeting Renee, finding out secrets about her new family and taking on new responsibilities. Thank you Jade, Marina and Emma for your none stop help and support with this story. It wouldn't be here without you! I'm sorry for the short chapter. It took me awhile to figure out what I actually wanted to do with this plot. I hope you all enjoy it. Please comment and review!_

_Declaimer: I do not own any of the 24 characters. They all belong to Fox and Howard Gordon. Some of the character I do own. _

** Pain of Love**

** Chapter 1 - Change **__

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Mood: "So close your eyes and send up a prayer into the dark" **

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**Toronto, Ontario**

**July 6th, 2006**

"Guys, we have to finish cleaning," I heard myself call out as I picked up the broken pieces of balloons and streamers.

"Lucy, I'll get that for you. You're the birthday girl; you shouldn't have to clean up," Riley stated with a mischievous look on her face. "Besides, if I do it you won't be stuck cleaning it up again."

Confusion crossed my face. "What do you…?" Before I could finish, Riley threw the broken pieces of balloons and streamers covering me with them. Lilly and Kate joined in by throwing the pieces they had in their hands, creating an even bigger mess than the original.

"Guys! Cut it out!" I protested between giggles. "We have to finish cleaning. Just because I'm thirteen now doesn't mean my parents still don't have me on a short leash." I confessed, quite annoyed at that fact. The only difference with my parents was they let me walk home alone as long as it was before…

"SHOOT!" I yelled as I looked at my watch. They froze and looked at me, confused.

"What's wrong?" Lilly asked, concerned.

"It's passed 10:15. I promised I'd be home by 10!" I cried as I scrambled for my sweater and shoes.

"That's ok. You head home. We'll finish up here," Kate offered as she passed me my purse. "Wouldn't your parents have called you by now?" she added.

I reach into my pocket and pull out my cell. No missed calls. "Maybe they fell asleep," I figured, though I knew that was very unlikely.

I hugged my friends, thanked them for the gifts and headed for the door.

"Oh, Lucy, wait!" Riley called as she pulled my other friends aside to whisper something to them.

Lilly ran to the cabinet and pulled out a little blue box with a white ribbon around it. "I know we already gave you more then you wanted, but we all pitched in to get you this."

I open my mouth to yell at them for spoiling me but I couldn't fool myself. I loved when they spoiled me and I was also in a hurry.

I took the little blue Tiffany box, undid the ribbon and opened it.

**Washington, D.C. **

**1996 **

"You're lying!" Renee screamed to her grandmother. She couldn't stop the tears from coming.

"Sweetheart, listen," her grandmother said softly, reaching for her hand.

Renee pulled back and screamed "No! You listen!" she couldn't control the anger in her voice. "You tell me nineteen years later that I'm adopted? That my birth parents don't even know I'm alive, and I'm just supposed to believe you?"

She couldn't even look at her grandmother. She didn't want to believe that the strong, loving, independent people whom she admired and looked up to before they died had no relation to her at all.

Her grandmother stood up and slowly walked over to her, taking Renee in her arms. Renee couldn't resist. She leaned her head against her grandmother's cold, boney shoulders and cried.

It was quiet for a long moment, Renee still in her grandmother's arms.

Finally, when she couldn't take it anymore, Renee let go of her grandmother. She ran upstairs, slammed the door and cried.

* * *

Renee had taken out her "Criminal Justice Today" text book for her Law class and studied to try and take her mind off her grandmother's confession.

But everything she did brought back the memories of her past.

_"Maybe I am adopted," _Renee thought, completely crushed by the idea. It would explain why she had red hair and blue eyes while the rest of her family had neither. Why she didn't have the beautiful voice both of her sisters inherited from their mother. Why she hated chocolate and junk food when the rest of her family loved it.

She then began to think of ways she was just like them. She would pour her milk into the bowl first before her cereal the way her father had done every morning. Her love for kids and tender heart were that of her mother. She even saw some of her rebellious nature in her younger sisters. She supposed all children had a mischievous side to them.

Renee couldn't stop the tears from coming. In her frustration, she threw her law books across the room, pulled the covers over her head and began to sob.

**Toronto, Ontario **

**2009 **

_Elizabeth Ann Lane, 1964 – 2006. __John Douglas Lane, 1962 - 2006. Friends and loving parents._

I stare at the white letters etched into the grave stone, trying to comprehend my own emotions. I never visited my parents' grave. I didn't even go to the funeral. I guess I saw it as a confirmation that they were really gone.

I sat on the heels of my leather boots, careful not to fall into the cold snow and slid the tips of my fingers against the cold marble of the grave stone, remembering that horrible night of July 6, 2006.

_"Makayla, have you lost your mind?" I asked with a hint of humour in my voice. "Well, it's not like I got caught or anything. And besides, you know how fun she is to mess with." Makayla had prank called her neighbour Ms. Alimo about a phone bill for 450 dollars, knowing she would think her daughter had went over her texting limit again. "You're so bad! Now Miranda is going to get in trouble−not that she doesn't deserve it..." I said, looking down at my feet to make sure I didn't trip. _

_"You just worry about not getting grounded for leaving the party so late." I heard her giggle on the other end of the phone. _

_When I looked up, I immediately wished I didn't. Four ambulances and six police SUVs were outside my house across the street. My cell phone fell out of my hand the moment I saw the paramedics wheel two large stretchers into the driveway. What happened? I ran to my house terrified of the answer I might get once I got there._

_As I approached the stretcher, I had all the answers. There was a plastic black duffle bag lying on it. I didn't have to open it to know who was inside. I turned around to the horrifying sight of two more stretchers being wheeled out of my house._

_I froze in terror realizing I was all alone, until I heard someone cry, "Lucy! Lucy!…" _


	2. Journey to The Past

_Writers Note: I just want to thank two special people (you know who you are) for helping me look smart. So thank you to them! This chapter wouldn't be here without them! Ok enjoy guys!

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**Chapter 2 - Journey to The Past **

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Mood: "Home, love, family. There was a time I must have had one too, I will never be complete until I find you" **_

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Washington DC**

**2007**

_John Douglas Lane was murdered, along with his wife Elizabeth and son Daniel on July 6, 2006. Murderer is unknown to the public. _

Renee stared at the computer screen, completely heart broken by the words she had just finished reading. All these years of using her FBI access to find any information on her birth family had been a waste of time. They were gone.

First she found out she's adopted, then thirteen years later she finds out her birth parents, brother and nephew are dead.

Renee couldn't handle this kind of pain anymore. Her grandmother died two years ago and this new information had now left her with absolutely nothing.

Tears began to form behind her eyes. She threw her work papers, making them scatter all over the floor, and put her head down on her desk, letting the tears escape from her eyes, completely soaking her face.

Renee must have been crying for a good ten minutes before looking back at the computer screen to finish reading the news paper article.

She suddenly spotted a line that gave her hope.

John and Elizabeth's daughter, Lucy Addison Lane, is known to be living with her Aunt, Sarah Weaver, somewhere in Los Angeles.

Renee tried searching for information on Lucy, but found nothing. That was probably for the best. She felt Lucy would be safe if there was no trace of her on the internet.

Renee opened the photo linked to the paragraph about Lucy. A small photo of a 4-year-old girl appeared on the screen.

Renee instantly fell in love with the little strawberry blond and brown eyed child staring back at her.

She wanted to be a part of this child's life. Love her and protect her. Explain to her what had happened and if it wasn't for the adoption, she would have taken her under her wing and made sure she was safe.

A knock on the door startled her.

"Renee, we need you at station five," Larry said through the door. " Janis has the undercover file ready. We need you to verify it."

"I'll be right there," Renee replied as she wrote down the only address on the page that could lead her to Lucy.

_Our Lady of Sorrows Graveyard Toronto,Ontario M8K 3A4_

She folded the address and stuck it in her purse. She went back to the photo of the sweet little girl, silently promising she would find her.

She took her eyes off the photo and clicked the option bar above.

_Print. _

**Toronto, ****Ontario ****2009 **

"Lou-Lou?" The sweet, familiar voice startled me out of my daydream. I was extremely happy about it too. I wanted to push the horrifying memory as far back in my mind as humanly possible.

"Hey, sweetie," I said as I picked up the little blond-haired girl and gave her a squeeze.

"Honey, we have to leave now if we want to catch our flight home!'' I heard my aunt Sarah call out from behind.

Mackenzie wiggled out of my arms and ran to her mother, nestling her head into the crease of her neck.

I turned back to the gravestone and slid my fingers over the marble again. "I love you," I said, and leaned over to kiss the top of the tomb.

I walked over to the gravestone next to theirs and stared at the writing.

_David Douglas Lane 1987 - 2006 _

"I miss you like crazy. I'm so sorry we didn't get to finish that song," I confessed to the tomb. A tear escaped the corner of my eye and ran down my cheek. I bent down and kissed the top of the marble stone as well and added, "You're the world's best brother."

Mackenzie fell asleep the moment I finished strapping her into her car seat.

I turned to my aunt, who looked fascinated at how quickly Mackenzie drifted off, and jumped on her, clinging to her as if my life depended on it.

"Thank you for calling my name, Sarah." I whispered in her ear. I felt her grip tighten around my back, assuring that she wouldn't have had it any other way.

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone staring at me. I couldn't see the person clearly, but it was definitely a woman with dark red hair wearing sunglasses.

"Do you see that?" I asked, but by the time Sarah looked over, the woman was gone.

"I swear she's right there, looking right at me. She had red hair and was wearing big, bug-like sunglasses."

"It's probably your imagination, sweetheart. Now come on slow poke, get in the car. We are going to miss our flight."

I was too tired to argue with her so I dropped the subject and got into the car.

Soon after I buckled myself in and laid back, the image of the red-headed woman resurfaced in my mind.

Who was she? What did she want? And had she really been watching me the whole time?

I watched the horizon inched closer, realizing none of that mattered. I was going home, with both my aunt and little cousin, knowing my past was behind me. I suddenly felt safe.

I leaned my head back against the headrest and closed my eyes.

"_Home," _I thought to myself and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"Flight to LA at 11:30 pm is boarding now."

"That's us, Lucy," Sarah called, nudging me to wake up. She had a fast asleep Mackenzie in her arms, so I insisted on carrying the bags.

We showed our tickets to the flight attendants and took our seat in Row 5, just as it was marked on the tickets.

"Do you need anything? Maybe a pillow for the little one?" The flight attendant offered cheerfully. I always wondered how they could be so happy, even at midnight. Was it even possible for them to lose their cool?

"A pillow would be lovely." Sarah looked at me and added, "Make that two pillows."

"Coming right up!" she said happier than ever. _"What was this, a Disney movie?" _I thought as the lady skipped cheerfully to the service areas.

I leaned my head against the side of the plane, watching as the people walked in to take their seats.

"Sarah, that's her!" I whispered frantically as I motioned toward the mysterious woman. "The woman from the cemetery." I tried to speak quietly but realized I must have been louder than I thought when the women gave me a quick look, then continued to her seat in the back row.

"Shhh! Lucy, not so loud," Sarah warned. "Are you sure that's her?"

"Yes, Sarah, that's her," I answered, irritated. "I'm sure of it."

"Sweetie, she could have just been there to visit a loved one she lost. You're not the only one in this world, you know."

I stared at her, shocked at how harsh her comment had come off.

I was about to say something back but instead, I looked over my shoulder. The woman still had her sunglasses on.

I sat back in my chair, figuring my aunt was probably right. I was just being paranoid, something I got from my mother. I laid back and closed my eyes, waiting for sleep to take over.

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Renee peered ahead through the cracks between passenger seats, and then back at the photo she had printed that now lay in her hands.

She suddenly began to feel out of place.

"_Renee what were you thinking? What are you going to do? 'Oh, Hi Lucy, I'm your long lost aunt. I was adopted after your grandparents thought I died and later found out about you. I came to take you with me.' Oh yeah, Renee, that ought to win her over," _she thought, kicking herself for intruding in the poor child's life.

Besides, she now knew Lucy was safe and happy where she was. She would hate to take her out of that, put her through a horrible custody batter, which she knew she would lose, and then have her job put Lucy in danger.

She looked at the photo again before placing it back in her pocket.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered and then looked at the starry sky through the window. She felt the plane move and braced herself for takeoff.


	3. All That I Am

_Writers Note: You guys are in for a treat. Today and tomorrow I will be posting as much as I can because on saturday I leave for a week. I promise the second I get back I will update! Thank you for reading and I hop you continue to enjoy this adventure! Thank you Emma and Jade for your advice and amazing editing. Thank you Marina for your AMAZING ideas! Have fun reading!

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** Chapter 3 - All That I Am **

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_Mood: "Well the fog sits like blankets and it smothers the glow" _

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**Los Angeles ****2009**

"_Lucy, hurry up!" my mom called. We were walking towards an unfamiliar building. We must have gone through the back door because I couldn't see a sign. _

"_Where are we?" I asked curiously, as I skipped through the door. _

"_You'll see. Come this way." _

_When my mom opened the door to the main room, I heard everyone shout "SURPRISE! HAPPY 8TH__ BIRTHDAY!" _

_I was smothered by hugs and kisses and thrown in the air by my aunts and uncles._

_Suddenly the setting changed. I was in a big empty court room. The silence was deafening. I wandered aimlessly around the room, hoping to find someone, anyone, then wishing I had never opened the door. Charles Patroshik, my parents murderer, was standing there. We were motionless for a long time. Then, ever so slowly, he began to come for me, closer and closer. My feet wouldn't move. _

"_I'll get you one day… You'll be mine." All I could do was scream. Scream as loud as I could until…_

"Lucy! Lucy wake up!" my aunt yelled. My eyes flew open as hundreds of tears ran down my face.

Sarah pulled me close, stroking my hair softly with one hand and creating small circles on my back with the other.

"Shhh. It's okay sweetie" she murmured. "Same dream?" she asked, figuring the night terrors hadn't changed.

I couldn't speak. The fear of him coming back, those eyes, it all felt so real. _Why did I keep having these dreams? _

"Shhh. He's gone, Lucy. He can't come back. I promise." I knew Sarah was right, but I couldn't shake the bad feeling. The dreams felt like warnings. They'd been on and off for the past two months, and each one got more and more intense.

Sarah lay with me until I drifted off again, but shortly after, the nightmares returned. This, one though, was different.

"_Come here!" he screamed, grabbing me and pulling me to him. I didn't speak. Didn't even move. All I did was pray. Pray someone would find me. Pray I'd wake up soon. _

_Then I heard a voice inside my head, telling me to stay where I was. Not to move. _

"_My name is Renee Walker," she added. _

I woke up, gasping for air, and feeling as if I could vomit from the spinning going on inside my head. Sarah must have left once I passed out because her side of the bed was now empty.

"Renee Walker?" I whispered. I got out of bed and headed to my computer, tip toeing so I didn't wake up Mackenzie.

Once opened, I typed the mysterious name in the search bar.

**R-E-N-E-E W-A-L-K-E-R **

Three letters were plastered all over the page -

**FBI **

I clicked the first link and began to read.

_Renee walker worked for the FBI as a special agent for the Washington Field Office. She helped with the Bio terrorist threat that took place in 2006. Unfortunately, she was then dismissed from the FBI after an undisclosed discrepancy._

"Dismissed?" I whispered, scrolling down the page and clicking on the photo linked to the paragraph.

I studied the image. "The red head on the plane was Renee Walker?" I said a little too loudly. The thought of an FBI agent stalking me brought back the memories of Charles. _Am I in danger? Why had she been in Toronto that day? And is he back to get me?_

I read the rest of the biography and then typed in the only other name that appeared on the screen.

**J-A-C-K -B-A-U-E-R**

"Is everything ok?" Sarah startled me.

"Oh yeah, great," I said as I slammed my laptop shut suspiciously.

The look on Sarah's face was beginning to freak me out.

"What?"

"Honey, come sit down," she said sweetly.

_This cant be good. _

"Sweetie, these dreams…I don't think time will make them go away. It's been two months now.'' She paused. "Maybe we should try a doctor. See if they can-"

"You want me to see a shrink?" I cried, ripping my hand from hers and moving off the bed. "What, now I'm crazy?" I added.

"No sweetie, not crazy. Just…"

"Cut the crap, Sarah. I know exactly what you mean." I could feel the rage building up inside of me. "I'm crazy, paranoid and unpredictable. That's what you meant, right?"

"No, I just…" she was lost in thought for a moment. When she didn't answer, I spoke for her.

"Just can't handle me anymore? Can't stand a crazy teen around your daughter? You think I'll hurt her, don't you?"

"NO!" Sarah's tone of voice frightened me. I'd never seen her snap like that before. She was always a loving, caring and soft person. At least to me she was.

"Then what, Sarah?"

"It's just…"

"Spit it out!" I snapped back, irritated.

When Sarah didn't respond, I picked up my laptop and headed for the door.

"Lucy, wait!"

I froze, closing my eyes to hold back tears. "Sarah, I get it, okay? Just…"

"No you don't!" she snapped.

I turned to meet her gaze. Her face was pale and cold. She was really starting to frighten me.

"What's the laptop for?"

"Nothing." I lied.

"Lucy, it's been three years," she whispered, slowly walking towards me.

I took a few steps back defensively.

"You can't keep living in denial," her voice was cold again. I took a few steps back again, bracing myself for her next statement.

She looked over at the picture that was sitting on the night stand. I quickly glanced over, looking at the photo of my mom, dad and I at my dance recital.

When she turned back, she looked down at the laptop that was in my hands. Then she looked back at me, meeting my gaze.

"They're gone, Lucy. They're not coming back."

"You think I don't know that?" I said, harshly.

"That's enough! I've put up with your attitude, but now I've had it. All I'm trying to do is help you! You have to realize it's been three years. Three whole years, Lucy. It's time for you to pull yourself together and try to get over it!"

I couldn't speak. Her words ripped right through me like a knife. The understanding that came along with them hurt even more.

I moved away from the door, grabbing the jacket I had thrown on the floor, along with my laptop bag and the picture on the night stand.

"What do you want, Lucy?" I heard her whisper as she gently grabbed my hand and placed her free hand on my shoulder.

Part of me wanted to turn into her and cry, letting everything out.

But her words had left their mark already. I understood what she wanted. Rolling my shoulders and snapping my hand away from hers, I screamed, "I WANT MY MOM!"

I slammed the door and brushed past Mackenzie, who must have been woken up by our screams. I tried my best not to look her in the eye. That would make leaving harder than it already was.

I ran down the stairs and through the main hallway. When I reached the door, I looked back at the empty living room, wondering if leaving was really what I wanted to do.

Suddenly her words popped back into my head, cutting me deeper than the first time.

I twisted the knob and slammed the door behind me.

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"May I take your order?"

The man's voice snapped me out of my daydream.

"Decaf, please," I requested, my voice strained and husky.

I looked around the coffee shop. It was completely empty. I also found it weird that there was only one worker on staff. Was it because it was 3 am? He had blond hair and dark blue eyes and was probably in his mid 40's. His voice sounded familiar, but I knew that wasn't possible.

"That will be $2.43," he said after punching the numbers into the cash register.

I handed him three bucks, letting him keep the change as a tip, and headed for the empty tables, taking a seat and pulling out my laptop.

Thankfully, the site was still open on the main screen.

I took a sip of my coffee and slouched back, trying to find a comfortable position as I continued to read the rest of the article.

A few minutes later, my world went black.


	4. Breaking Down

_Writers note: IM BACK! So, I added a part to chapter 4! Thanks for all the kind words! It really means alot! Enjoy!_

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** Chapter 4 - Breaking Down **

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Mood: "Open up the book you beat me with again. Read it off one sentence at a time"

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I woke up in a small room. The lights were off so I couldn't see anything.

I felt a heavy weight on my chest, like a pile of bricks was sitting on it. I felt weird compressions on my legs and movements up my stomach.

_What the hell? _I thought to myself.

"I told you you'd be mine."

I couldn't move. I began to realize what was happening. I was dreaming, right? Please say I was dreaming. He wasn't really here, was he? He wasn't really doing what I thought he was doing…

Tears began to flow down my face as I tried to push him off me, but I was too weak to even move my head.

I groaned in horror trying to fight him off, but the words he spoke made me terrified to even try.

"If you fight me, the little one will pay." He snarled in the darkness. "Just like her mother."

"What did you do to Sarah?" I tried to sound angry but my voice was barely above a whisper.

"That's not important. Give me what I want, and the little one goes free."

"What do you want?" I croaked, thought I already knew the answer.

He leaned back down, pressing his lips to my neck and continuing from where he left off.

All I could think about was protecting Mackenzie. Doing this for her, praying he would keep his promise and let her go.

I tried to think of happier times. My mom and dad. Their hugs, kisses and bed time stories. The day Mackenzie was born. My aunt's face when she finally got to hold her child. The happiness in her eyes.

I felt a tear escape from the corner of my eye. _"I'm so sorry, Sarah."_ I thought. _"I didn't mean the things I said. All you did was love me. Damn this bastard!"_ I couldn't take this anymore.

There was only so much more of this situation I could handle. I started to pray, hoping God would take me. Asking him to protect Mackenzie. Have her come out of this alive.

I closed my eyes and everything went black.

* * *

"Lu-Lu?" I felt the little girl shaking me, begging me to wake up.

I slowly gained consciousness and looked up at her. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying and she also had a hand print around her neck.

"Bastard," I whispered, taking her in my arms and squeezing her as tight as I could.

We were in a another empty, dark room. I looked around the room, trying to come up with a plan on how to get us out of there.

I saw a pile of bricks on the floor, giving me an idea that might save us both.

I pulled Mackenzie away and told her specific instructions her three-year-old mind could understand.

"Lu-Lu needs you to listen, okay?"

The little girl nodded.

"Good girl. I need you to sit in the corner way over there, okay? I promise you won't get hurt."

She looked terrified of leaving my side, but I assured her that she would be fine.

"When I nod my head, you scream, okay?"

She looked puzzled so I tried to think of another way to make her understand.

"When you get hurt, you cry really loud, right?"

She nodded.

"Lu-Lu needs to cry really loud when she nod."

Mackenzie shook her head, implying she understood. She gave me a hug before heading for the corner.

I grabbed the biggest brick of the pile, placed it behind my back and began to rock back and forth.

I nodded, and Mackenzie began to scream.

_Good girl, _I thought.

"That kid better shut up!" I heard Charles scream as he stormed through the door.

* * *

I continued to rock with a grave expression on my face, slowly moving my right hand to my back.

"What the hell?' he croaked, looking at my rocking body.

He came closer, looking as if he was trying to figure out what was wrong with me.

The rest of it happened so fast.

When his head was level with mine, I grabbed the brick from behind my back, and smashed it against his head, hitting him again to make sure he was out.

I picked up Mackenzie and ran out of the room and into the streets.

Mackenzie was sobbing into my shoulder, breathing deeply to try to catch her breath.

"Shhh. Baby girl, it's okay," I said, searching for a route to take. We had been held in an old warehouse in the middle of nowhere.

I looked south and ran. Ran as fast as I could. Ran from the memories, from my past, hugging this child that I was now responsible for. I ran from him, praying I would never have to see his face again. Ran until…

"Oh my, I'm so sorry," I croaked, looking up at the tall buff man I just banged into.

"Lucy, its okay, your safe now."

"Who are…?"

"My name is federal agent Jack Bauer."

"Jack Bauer?" _Jack Bauer from the website? _I had only read a paragraph before I blacked out, but it had information that he was the one who worked along with the redhead in the bio threat.

"Yes. Lucy, listen, I need you to run over that hill as fast as you can; don't look back." he ordered. "There is a helicopter on the other side, Agent O'Brian will assort you to CTU."

"But how…?"

"Just go!" he shouted, running towards the warehouse.

_Was he crazy? _

"What are you doing?" I yelled. "He'll kill you!"

"Lucy, just go!"

I started to run backwards, watching as he ran towards that horrible place. Once he disappeared I faced forward and ran for the hill, Mackenzie clinging onto me, still sobbing into my shoulder blade.

I heard the humming sound of a helicopter and followed the noise up the hill.

I was still shaking from everything that had happened and I began to stumble.

Mackenzie's weight was beginning to give me cramps in my left leg. I hated to let her go, but I pulled her away from my arms and placed her gently on the grassy ground. She, too, was quivering.

"Sweetie, Lucy needs you to run the rest of the way. Can you do that?"

She didn't say anything, she had the most heart breaking, blank look on her face.

"Kenzie?" I whispered, lowering myself to her level and gently tucking her soft blond hair behind her ears. "Honey, please," I begged. "You can hear the humming right?"

She gave a slow nod.

"The helicopter is right over this hill. I just need you to run down. I'll be right beside you. Okay?"

She let out a long sigh and grabbed my hand, turning in the direction of the humming.

We ran, slower than before, since Mackenzie's legs were three times smaller then mine.

Jack wasn't lying. A navy blue helicopter had landed right in the middle of a large stray field.

I picked Mackenzie up, covering her face with my sweater, trying to prevent the sand and gravel flying around from getting in her eyes.

I squinted and approached the helicopter. A woman, with long brown hair was standing outside holding the door open. She had a scowl on her face, her eyes half closed, probably from the power of the wind.

"Hi Lucy, I'm Agent Chloe O'Brian. I'll be taking you to CTU. Please step into the chopper." she ordered, pulling out her cell phone to make a call.

I only heard her side of the conversation. Most of it consisted of "yes" and "understood," so I had no idea what was going on.

Mackenzie was cuddled into my chest, finally sleeping after all that had happened.

The female agent entered the helicopter last, and we took off.


	5. Two Worlds

_Writers Note: I hope all my fellow Canadian's out there had a wonderful Canada day! And I hope my American readers had a great 4th of July! I am now back from my vaca and ready to update for you guys! Thank you Marina for staying up day and night role playing this out with me! I meant ALOT! Also, Thank you Jade and Emma for taking the time to be my beta readers! And thanks to all of you for your wonderful comments! I love you guys! Okay, Enjoy!

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** Chapter 5 - Two Worlds **

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Mood: "Raise your head up, lift high the load. Take strength from those that need you"

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**CTU Headquarters **

**2009 **

Renee paced back and forth in Jack's office, waiting for someone to confirm that Lucy was alright. Jack had made Renee stay behind, feeling her emotional involvement may have a negative impact on the mission, which drove Renee crazy. Each time the office phone ran, Renee would frantically pick it up, hoping it was Jack or Chloe calling with an update for Lucy, but it was always a field agent debriefing her on Charles position, which she cared less about at this point. All she wanted was Lucy safe in her care.

"Ms. O'Brian, we'll take her from here."

Renee spun around, letting out a sigh of relief when she saw Lucy and the little girl walk into the building. She wanted so much to hug her and never let her go, promising that she would never let anything happen to her, but Renee knew she had to keep this strictly professional. However, she did want to do something for Lucy.

She heard the office phone ring, glad when she heard Jack's voice on the other end.

"Hey," he said, sweetly.

"Jack, thank God you're okay," she replied, relieved.

"Did Lucy arrive yet?"

"About five minutes ago."

"Have they taken her to medical?"

Renee knew what she had to do for her; she also knew it would take awhile to convince Jack.

"Um, Jack, I want to talk to you about that."

Silence followed.

"I want to be the one to debrief Lucy. I've been in her situation before; I understand what she's feeling." Renee tried to keep her tone even but knew Jack could hear the pleading in her voice.

"Renee, I don't think that's a good idea."

_Of course he doesn't, _she thought angrily.

"Jack," she whispered. "Why can't you just trust me for once?"

"I do trust you; I just don't think you talking to Lucy about this kind of situation is a good idea."

"Why not?" she lashed out, pissed off at how difficult he was being.

"Because, I don't think you can keep your personal feelings in the dark."

Renee was extremely irritated at how little trust he still had in her, even after all they'd been through.

"I'm not going to bring up my personal relation to her, Jack, if that's what you're afraid of," she snapped.

"I'm not so sure about that," he argued, trying to stay calm but getting just as irritated as Renee was.

"Jack," she whispered again, closing her eyes to hold back tears of frustration. "Please let me do this. I know what she's going through. Doctors can't help in the way someone who has experienced it can. They don't understand the pain and horror a person goes through when put in that situation. I do. I can reach out to her," she paused. "Please, Jack."

She heard him let out a long sigh, one that showed he was caving in. Renee had him wrapped around her finger − it just took time for him to give in.

"You have to promise me you won't mention anything about your connection to her."

"I won't, Jack."

"No, I need you to promise me."

"I promise," she murmured, remembering the day Jack made her promise to stay right by his side. The day they found president Hassan dead, his throat slit open. She was so happy this wasn't that kind of situation with Lucy.

"Thank you, Jack," she whispered.

"I'll be there in 15 minutes," Jack promised, hanging up the phone to prevent himself from changing his mind.

Renee looked through the glass door, and felt her heart breaking when she saw Lucy sitting on the floor with her arms around her knees, a blank but traumatized look on her face.

"Lucy?" She took a step towards the girl. "I'm Special Agent Renee Walker."

Lucy looked up, giving her a dirty look and placing her head on her hands.

Renee walked closer, careful not to scare her.

"Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?" she asked sweetly.

Lucy kept her head down, pretending she didn't hear her.

"Hun," Renee sighed. "I know you may not believe me, but I've been there. You're not alone."

Lucy looked up at her, confused by her statement. She wiped the tears away from her face and sighed.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Renee took a deep breath, knowing this conversation would turn more personal than her liking − than Jack's liking.

"I've been in your position before, more than once. I know how you feel."

Lucy was completely confused and shocked.

"W-what?"

"I know what it's like to feel alone, even helpless. I also know it helps to talk about it."

Lucy put her head back on her lap, trying to fight the tears lingering in her eyes.

"So what if you have. Why do you care?" she said, harshly.

Renee looked away, scanning the room while thinking of the right words to say.

"Lucy, I…" she paused, forcing her gaze on the helpless girl in front of her, sucking in a breath to stay strong for her. "I care more than you know."

Lucy began to shake and Renee knew exactly why. She didn't say anything, mostly because she was scared to say the wrong thing.

"Where's Mackenzie?" The question had startled Renee.

"Um, she's with Jack. You don't have to worry about her. He has a granddaughter so he's good with kids," she stated, cracking a smile, thinking of how happy Jack was when he was with little Teri.

"Why can't she come up?" Lucy asked protectively.

"She can if you really want to see her, but first we have to make sure you're okay." She paused. "Uh, are you okay?" Renee tried to joke figuring Lucy wouldn't pick up on it.

To her surprise, she heard her let out a small giggle, and then watched as she lay her head down, beginning to sob uncontrollably.

_Dammit, _Renee thought, scolding herself for making the poor girl cry.

"Honey, don't cry. It's okay."

"H-how long does it t-take for the p-pain to go away?" she stammered. "I just want to be free."

"Hun, it can take awhile, especially mentally." The memories of her meltdown came rushing to her mind. It was right after she was fired from the FBI. The memories of Vladimir Laitanan's abuse, how she had kept it a secret for three years. Jack's dying eyes as he said his last goodbye, or so she thought.

She rolled down her sleeves, making sure they covered the scars of her weakness. She wouldn't let that happen to Lucy. If that meant staying with her day and night, comforting her or putting up with her anger, she would.

"I know you're a strong girl, Lucy. You can overcome this."

"I-I wish I could believe you."

They were both quiet for a long time.

"Why did you come to talk to me? I thought you said you were a special agent, not a nurse."

_Shit, _Renee thought. _Please don't let her recognize me. _

"No, I…" she paused, thinking of a way out of this. "I wanted to be the one to debrief you, since I understand what you're going through.

"_Debrief_?"

"Yeah. It's what we do after a field mission. It's just talking about what happened, really."

Renee prayed Lucy could trust her enough to at least tell her how the hell this even happened. She noticed that Lucy was hesitating so she went and sat beside her, folding her arms around her knees, copying her position.

"I know it may not seem like it will help, but you can trust me. I promise, I would never do anything to hurt you."

Lucy wrapped her arms around herself, as if to keep her from falling apart.

"H-how does this work? I just tell you what happened?"

Renee fiddled with her fingers. She was nervous of how this would turn out.

"Basically. Just start from the beginning. What was the last thing you remember before the…in…" Renee struggled to find the right words. "…before the incident?"

Lucy took a deep breath and began explaining the situation to the best of her ability.

"I-I remember getting into a fight with…" Lucy started to cry. "…with Sarah. My…my aunt." She took a deep breath. Renee knew this wasn't going to be easy.

"I ran away because I was angry. I went into a c-coffee shop and that's…" By this time Lucy was in the midst of sobs. "…when everything went black." She broke down in tears, unable to finish her explanation.

Renee wrapped her arms around Lucy's sobbing body, unsure of how she might react. Lucy began to roll her shoulders, forcing Renee to release her grip and pulled away from her but she eventually let herself slip back into the agent's arms, bawling into her chest.

"Honey, it's okay. You're safe here, I've got you." Renee was trying her best to comfort Lucy without seeming too needy herself.

"I-I don't have anyone." Lucy sobbed.

Those words brought her back to one of her darkest nights. The warehouse. Vlad's dead body lying on the floor. The bloody knife she'd used to end his life.

Renee had leaned over in her chair, sobbing and confessing that very same statement to Jack. She was shattered now, hating how much Lucy reminded her of herself.

She remembered the soft words that came from Jack's lips as well as she remembered her own name. Forever etched in her memory.

"You…You've got me." she repeated. "I know you may not know me, but I'm always here for you. No matter what."

She knew this conversation had turned into exactly what Jack feared it would. But that didn't last long. Renee was startled when Lucy ripped herself out of her arms.

"That's what they all say!" she yelled. "After you have your information, I'm useless. You don't care! You don't even know me!"

"I do care! I…" _How do I tell her? What if she doesn't believe me? _Renee took a deep breath. She was already in too deep.

"I know you more than you know," she confessed.

Lucy then began to remember who Renee was. She kicked herself for not realizing sooner but she was so distraught that she completely forgot about her research.

"Y-you're the redhead… from the cemetery." She stood up, backing away defensively. "Why were you there?"

_Dammit, she knows._

"What cemetery?" Renee bluffed.

"The cemetery in Toronto. You were there. And on the plane! You were stalking me!" Lucy shouted frantically. "W-what do you want?" she cried.

_Dammit, Renee why did you do that?_ She chided herself for going against Jack, and proving him right once again. She knew she couldn't lie anymore.

"I was supposed to be protecting you, but…" a single tear slipped, running down her cheek and down her neck. "I failed," she whispered, looking anywhere but in the girl's eyes.

"Protecting me? Why?" Lucy demanded. "Why do you care so much?"

"Because…" Renee walked away, looking down through the window as she tried to gather her thoughts.

_Jack will hate me for this… _

"…because I knew your parents. Subjectively."

"What are you talking about?" Lucy asked, confused. "You live here, don't you? How the hell could you know my parents?"

Renee knew she had no choice but to tell Lucy the truth, deciding not to disclose her exact relation to the girl.

"Your parents and I… were related. Uh, distant cousins." she fibbed.

Lucy shook her head. "You're crazy! Where's Mackenzie?" Lucy screeched, wanting to get her and Mackenzie as far away from this place as possible.

"She's here. Just wait, let me explain. I promise I'm not crazy." _Although Jack may think otherwise. _

She reached into her back pocket, pulling out a photo and passing it to Lucy.

"This may help explain," she sighed, watching as Lucy took the picture.

"H-how did you get this?"

"I told you, I knew your parents." she paused, moving closer to the child. "Can you trust me now?" Renee begged.

"You didn't get this from them. You got this from the newspaper article." she stated. "You were stalking me."

"NO!" Annoyance crept into Renee's voice. "I told you, I was there to protect you! Honestly, I have better things to do than stalk you. I have a family! I know you're upset, but keep the paranoid exclamations to a minimum! Geez!" Realizing she'd lost her temper, she sank back in horror. "I-I'm so sorry, Lucy. I don't…"

"I want out of here! Where's Mackenzie?" Lucy screamed, hoping someone below would hear her.

Anger flashed through Renee's eyes.

"You know what? I'm done," she said, throwing her arms up in mock surrender. "When you want answers, and feel ready to take that bastard down, let me know. Until then, goodbye." She felt horrible for coming down on her like that, but she was heartbroken that Lucy trusted her even less than Jack did. She wanted to be right for once, show Jack she could make the right decision. Lucy was proving her wrong like everyone else.

"Wait…" Lucy called out. "How do you think I'm supposed to react to this kind of information, huh? I was just put through hell! My aunt was murdered, Mackenzie was probably assaulted and I-I…" Lucy fell down to her knees, bawling into her hands.

Renee just stood by the door frame, unsure of what to do. If she walked over to Lucy, she might lash out again, so she stayed where she was, waiting for Lucy to say something.

"I have nowhere to go," Lucy cried.

Renee stepped forward, bending down to meet Lucy's sad gaze.

"Honey, I'm sorry. I just…" she closed her eyes, holding back tears. "I hate that I failed you. You have me. And even though you may think I'm crazy, that's okay, because God knows I'm not exactly normal either." Renee saw Lucy release a small smile. One that made Renee's heart melt. "I promise, Mackenzie is safe," she added.

Lucy calmed down, descending from sobbing to a soft cry.

"Can I see her?" she whispered.

"I'll go get her," Renee said, as she opened the door and walked out of the office.

Lucy looked out the big window, watching as Renee walked to another room.

_Could it really be? Are we related? How does that even make sense? My parents didn't have cousins. None that I knew of, anyway. Should I trust her?_ Lucy thought to herself. Her thoughts vanished when she saw Renee carrying a tiny blond girl though the office door.


	6. Never Gonna Be Alone

**Chapter 6 - Never Gonna Be Alone**

**

* * *

Mood: From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall..."

* * *

**

**Washington State Prison**

**2006 **

Tony sat on the corner of his bed in his prison cell, arms crossed and pissed off that he wasn't able to finish the bastard that ruined his life when he heard a stampede outside.

_What in the hell is going on?_Before he had a chance to finish his thought, a prison guard opened his cell, and yanked him out, almost dragging him in the process."Where the hell are you taking me?" Tony growled at the guard."Just shut up and follow me."

"Not until you...!" but before Tony could finish his sentence, the guard had knocked him out.

"Hey, you! Wake up! We only have 20 minutes; that's all the time I could buy."Tony slowly came into consciousness and looked up to see the prison guard that grabbed him from his cell, plus others that he couldn't recognize."It's your lucky day, Mr. Almeida."

"What do you want?" Tony asked, tone full of confusion and anger.

"Me? To get paid. That's only going to happen when we get you out of here. Someone really wants to see you, Almeida."

Tony was all sorts of confused. "Who?"

"Unfortunately, I'm not at liberty to say. Now, I don't want to be rude, but this diversion won't last for long. You need to get dressed so we can get you out. I want to get paid, and I don't think you want to spend the rest of your life in a cell."

Tony hesitated as he grabbed the police outfit and began to get dressed. "How are we getting out of here?"

"That's the fun part. We're walking you right out," The guard said as he tossed Tony a wig "Now get your ass going."

**CTU Headquarters**

**2009 **

Mackenzie wiggled out of Renee's arms and ran right into Lucy's, squeezing as tight as her little arms could. Lucy tried asking her if _he _had hurt her at all while in the chopper but Mackenzie hadn't said a word. She looked up at Renee, whose face was sad and pained.

"Is she okay? Did she see a medic?" Lucy looked at the mark around Mackenzie's neck. "Did he hurt her?" she added, hoping to here good news.

"She's fine. She has a few scars and bruises but nothing serious. She may experience nightmares but I know she's a tough cookie. Right, sweetheart?" Renee smiled.

Mackenzie didn't answer her and Lucy realized that she had fallen asleep. She began to rock her back and forth, thinking about the topic she and Renee had been discussing before she lashed out. "About before, I was just confused and angry. I'm still confused, but I'm willing to listen now," she said apologetically.

Renee's face perked up. "Are you sure? I mean, it wouldn't be the first time someone only knew me as the crazy lady," she joked as both her and Lucy giggled.

"I just want to know that there's someone I can go to. If you're somehow family, I want to know how. I want to know everything," Lucy stated as she continued to gently rock Mackenzie.

"Well…" Renee stopped, turning around to look out the big glass window. _There's no point in stalling. She's just as stubborn as I am. She'll find out sooner or later. _Renee thought, taking a deep breath.

"I'm your aunt," she spat out.

Renee let her gaze drift over her surroundings, waiting for Lucy to say something. She just hoped Lucy wouldn't hate her for not telling her sooner. All she wanted was to bring her home, have her a part of her life, to have _her_ life finally complete again.

She made her way around the whole room, staring at Lucy's frozen body last as she closed her eyes.

"H-how?" Lucy asked. Her only Aunt was now dead, along with everyone else she loved.

"Well, that's the difficult part. I was adopted, your dad never knew about me."

"My dad? I'm confused. How does being adopted make you my aunt?"

"Your dad was my brother."

"That's not possible. He only had a brother who died when he was 3. He never mentioned anything about a sister. Neither did my grandparents."

Renee ran her fingers through her neatly curled hair. _Why is this so difficult? _She asked herself. "They didn't know about me. You see, my mom and dad thought I died at birth. By the time the nurses realized it had been a mistake, they had already left the country. I was later given away."

_How can that be mistaken? _Lucy thought. "How did you find out about me? Why were you really at the cemetery?" Lucy was having a hard time believing Renee's confession but at the same time, it made sense to her.

"I went looking for my birth parents. When I found you, I swore to myself I would never let anything happen to you," Renee explained as she wiped a tear that had escaped, away from her eye.

Lucy began be cry. "Ms. Walker," she whispered. "Please don't blame yourself for what happened to me. You couldn't have prevented it. He came after me. You couldn't have stopped him."

_Ha, _Renee thought to herself. Jack had said the same thing to her easily on the phone, when they knew what was going on inside the warehouse.

"No, that son of a bitch outsmarted me!" she cried, furious that Charles had caught on to her lead. "I was tailing you, and he knocked me out." she continued, biting down on her lip to fight tears she knew wouldn't stop if she let them out."The worst part is, I never saw it coming. It just infuriates me! I could have protected you if I-" Renee fell to her knees, ashamed that she had broken the promise she had silently made to Lucy back in her FBI office.

Lucy laid Mackenzie down and walked over to Renee, kneeling down as she took her hand. She was mad at herself for freaking on Sarah for the stupidest reason. All she wanted to do was help, and Lucy didn't give her a chance. "It's not your fault, you couldn't have seen him coming. I shouldn't have run out on Sarah." A tear rolled down her face as she shook her head. "I shouldn't have gotten so mad," she looked down at the little girl in her arms, who was now motherless. _How am I going to tell her? _She thought.

Renee was touched by Lucy's gesture. It was the first time Lucy came to her and hope flashed over her. _Has she learned to trust me? _She thought, taking a chance by pulling her into a hug. "Honey, it's ok. None of this is your fault. You could never have known that he was following you."

Lucy hugged back, still unsure of Renee but wanting to assure her that she didn't blame her. "I-I don't have anywhere to go. I don't have anyone left." she repeated, sobbing into Renee's bright yellow sweater.

"You're not alone," she whispered. "You have me and your uncle Jack. Mackenzie likes him. I'm sure you will too."

"Uncle Jack?" Lucy asked, confused.

"Yeah. We're kinda together." She blushed.

"Jack Bauer?"

"Yes. I'm guessing you've heard about him?" Renee replied, figuring Lucy had seen news reports or APB's for him throughout the years.

"When I looked you up, I read a little about your work with him. He was the one who got me to CTU today." she paused, looking down to notice a diamond ring around her finger. "You're a couple?"

Renee tried to look away. She felt her face heat up as it turned red. "Yeah," she smiled. Renee blushed again, thinking of the times Jack had saved her. "He's my hero," she continued. "He was the only one I had when I was in a bad spot. It's a long story, really."

Lucy had more questions than she thought was possible, but put them aside for now. "What now?"

"Well I was supposed to debrief you, but I think we can get away with doing it at my house if you like," Renee offered.

"What about Ch…" Lucy struggled to say his name. "_Him_?"

"Don't worry about him right now. You're safe with us," Renee promised.

"You really want me to come with you? What about Mackenzie?" Lucy asked, knowing Renee's invite was meant as a permanent one.

Renee looked Lucy in the eyes, gently touching her cheek with her hand. "Of course I do. You two are my family. The only family I have," she confessed, a single tear slipping from the corner of her right eye.

Lucy threw herself around the agent, resting her head on her shoulder. "Let's go," she whispered.

* * *

_Writers Note: Hmm, I wonder what Jack's gonna say! Thank you for reading! Your all amazing! See you in the next chapter! :)_


	7. Falling Down

_Writers Note: This is where the story gets a little confusing. Most of this story is told in Lucy's POV but there are times when it will change to Renee's, Jack's or other chapters so you guys can experience all of their emotions. I'll try my best to make it easy to follow but if it ever gets confusing, let me know. Also, there might be some confusion between the two Teri's. When my story says "Teri" its talking about Jack's deceased wife. "Little Teri" is his granddaughter. I hope it's easy to follow. Enjoy guys! _

**Chapter 7 - Until the End **

_**

* * *

Mood: "Surround me, it's easy, to fall apart completely. I feel you creeping up again"

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**_

**Bauer Estate **

**2009 **

I rocked Mackenzie back and forth in the rocking chair, gazing around the massive princess themed bedroom, amazed that a house could be so beautiful.

Apparently, Jack took ownership of his brother Graem's estate after his nephew and sister-in-law moved to Michigan. I didn't understand how Jack lived in this place alone before Renee moved in.

I was still getting used to those two being a couple. Their relationship was unlike any other I've witnessed. I've seen them argue over what to make for dinner and then laugh about it for the next three days.

I was touched by how much love and support they both showed me and Mackenzie the moment we entered the house. Jack constantly came in to check on me, making sure I was okay and assuring me he would keep us all safe. Mackenzie had Renee wrapped around her finger. Anything she wanted Renee would give her, which drove me crazy, but it's hard to turn that child's puppy dog face down.

I lay Mackenzie in her new big girl bed and pulled the covers over her as I slowly rubbed small circles over her back like her mother used to do. It had been 4 months since Sarah died, and Mackenzie was finally beginning to understand that her mother wasn't coming back. There were still times when the little girl would run to the front door, hoping it was Sarah coming to get her, then disappointedly walk back to whatever she was doing when it wasn't.

Little Teri had fallen asleep the second she hit the pillow. She would visit us every weekend so Kim and Steven could have some alone time and both kids would play until it was time for bed.

Mackenzie shared a room with Teri because her room was under renovations and would be used for another purpose if Renee's speculations were correct. This didn't bother either one of them at all.

I cleaned up the cups and plates from the tea party they had that afternoon and figured I'd go downstairs and get a bite to eat. I was hoping to catch a movie on TV, when I heard the voices.

* * *

Jack was talking to Kim and Steven about pick up plans for Teri, while Renee skimmed through a wedding planner magazine and occasionally leaned over to show Jack an article when a phone rang on the kitchen table.

Not sure if it was hers or Jack's, Renee got up to check.

"Hey, your cells ringing," she told him, tossing it into Jack's lap.

He wrote down the time Kim said she would be coming and said his goodbyes as the caller ID flashed the name _Chloe O'Brian_.

Renee sat back down and continued to flip through the magazine as Jack took the call. When she heard a change in a tone, she looked up, curious.

"Dammit!" Jack shouted as he hung up and threw the phone across the room, making it land on the arm chair.

Renee watched as Jack paced back and forth, his hands on his temples.

"What?" she asked, concerned.

Jack continued to pace as Renee placed the magazine on the coffee table and walked over to him.

"How in the hell…" he stopped, turning to face her and gathered his thoughts. "Who would break Tony out of jail?" he continued. "How the hell could that happen?"

Renee pondered why anyone would want Tony broken out as Jack vented his anger over the development when it hit her.

"Jack," she whispered, her breath caught in her throat. She collapsed onto the floor.

"Renee!" he yelled, holding her as she lay shaking in his arms.

"It's him," she quivered. "Oh my god…"

"Renee, please, tell me."

"It's Wilson," she mouthed, the realization paralyzing her. "Alan Wilson. He got off free a-after I almost killed him. He's come back." She sank into her hands, shaking as she thought about that night.

They heard a crack on the stairs and learned they were not alone.

"Lucy?" Jack called.

"Hi, Jack." she replied, making her way down and turning to see Renee quivering on the floor.

"R-Renee? What's going on?" she panicked.

Renee froze. _What do we tell her? She's far too young for this, especially after all she's been through, _she thought, composing herself as best she could before turning to face her niece.

"Um, it's just a little thing. Jack may be gone for awhile. There's something he needs to take care of."

Lucy could sense that this was more than just a little thing.

"There's something you're not telling me," she stated in a knowing voice. "What does Jack need to do?"

Jack stood up and walked towards Lucy. Renee fell onto the couch exhausted. She glanced at the magazine lying on the floor, wondering why her life was so messed up, how she always seemed to mess things up.

"Lucy, I've been called in," Jack told her as Renee looked over to see her reaction.

Lucy stood silently, trying to figure out what Jack meant. She still didn't know the whole extent of Jack's job. Renee had quit field work. When needed, she would volunteer to work alongside Jack at CTU. Most of the time, Jack made her promise to stay home.

Lucy looked from Jack to Renee. Their facial expressions were what gave the seriousness of the situation away. Tears formed behind Lucy's eyes. "I'm scared," she admitted, falling to the floor. She put her face in her hands and cried.

Renee rushed over to her, holding her in her arms. "Lucy, it's okay. It's all going to be okay," she said, sweetly. "Now, what are your doing out of bed?"

Lucy looked up and sniffled. "I, uh, got Mackenzie to sleep and came down for a snack when I heard you two talking," she explained. "Why won't you tell me what's going on?" she begged, tears slipping away again. She suddenly became more frightened than ever. "Oh, god," she said, traumatized.

"Is he back?"

Jack's fatherly instincts kicked in as he jumped to hold Lucy.

"Lucy," he started, holding both her and Renee. "I promised you he wouldn't hurt you again. When I make a promise I never break it."

But to Lucy, those words meant he was back. She was terrified. She began to shake in Jack's arms, unable to control her sobs.

"Lucy" he whispered. "I swear, he's not coming back. What's going on has nothing to do with you, but with me.

"What if you get killed? I-I…" Lucy was finally beginning to start over. After four months, the nightmares had stopped and she was beginning to feel a part of this family. They reminded her a lot of her parents. The thought of losing either of them made her completely terrified. She let go of Jack, looking both of them in the eye.

"You're all I have. I can't lose you." She paused, taking a deep breath to control her sobs. "Jack, can't someone else handle this?"

How many times had he heard that line from Kim? It broke his heart to see what this was doing to her, but he knew he had to.

"No honey, it's something only I can do."

She began to understand that there was no way of changing his mind. She looked at him, studying his face and let out a long sigh. "How long will you be gone?"

"As long as it takes to catch them, sweetheart. Then I'll be home."

Renee watched the scene unfold in front her, and it warmed her heart. She knew Jack was seeing Lucy as another daughter, and it made her smile.

Although Lucy wasn't happy at all about letting him go without knowing what was really going on, she figured she didn't have a choice. "When are you going?"

Renee walked over and held Lucy and Jack's hands. Jack looked at both of them before answering.

"As soon as I can get a flight, but I'll be back as soon as I can."

Lucy knew she had no other choice but to agree, even if she had a sick feeling that this wasn't going to turn out well. She threw her arms around Jack, cuddling him like her father used to do to her. "Come home soon," she pleaded.

"Of course, sweetie," he said, giving her one last squeeze and left to go pack. He hated leaving them, but he knew it had to be done.

* * *

Lucy, seeing Jack leave, headed to her room down the hall. Renee watched as the sad girl walked away, wondering if there was anything she could tell her to make this better. She began to pace when it hit her.

There was one thing they had in common, though it's not the best thing to have in common, that they never finished talking about.

"Lucy, honey," she called, as she walked into the room. "Can we talk?"

Lucy looked up startled, her eyes bloodshot from crying. "About what?" she muttered.

"Well…" Renee tried to find the right words. "About what happened. We never got the chance to finish our talk. You know I've had the same thing happen to me more than once. With the same guy." She felt the tears start to build up. "I know the feeling that comes with it. I also know it helps to talk about it."

Lucy looked up at Renee, scared of what might come out of this conversation. She shut her laptop and opened her mouth to say something but closed it, letting her head fall into her hands as she started to cry.

Renee came over and wrapped her arms around Lucy, letting her cry, knowing it was something that she needed to do.

Lucy dug her face into Renee's shoulder blade, thinking of all the things she'd lost over the years. Renee's warm arms around her made her miss her mother. Her hugs used to make all of Lucy's problems go away.

Finally, when she calmed down, she pulled away from Renee, meeting her loving gaze.

This was the first time Lucy got a real good look at Renee. She noticed that she had her grandmother's green-blue eyes, and light toned skin. Renee's roots were growing out, and Lucy noticed they were the same color as her father's.

"You look like your mom," Lucy said, instantly wishing she could take the statement back.

Renee's heart stopped. She knew nothing of her mother, but somehow knowing that she looked like her made her feel closer to her.

"You have no idea what that means to me," she said, teary eyed.

Lucy turned her head, looking away from Renee, and let out a deep shy.

"What was it you wanted to talk about?" she said, closing her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Oh, about my experience," Renee continued. "The first time was for a mission. I was undercover trying to bust open a Russian terrorist cell. His name was…" she choked on the thought of his name. "Vladimir" she croaked, tears slipping away, soaking her face.

Lucy was scared. Not because she thought Renee was crazy or because _he_ might come back, but because she was afraid of saying the wrong thing.

She looked down, seeing Renee's hand leaned against the bed and held on to it.

"You know there's no wrong way to say it. You could never say anything wrong," Renee said, reading her mind.

"What exactly happened between you two?"

Renee sighed, thinking of the numerous things Vlad had done to her. "The FBI only knew about him abusing me. They thought he tried to come onto me but failed when I fought him off. But the truth is, I didn't fight him off. No one knows that, not even Jack, and you have to keep it that way." She explained. The last thing she needed was Jack's pity all over again.

Lucy was speechless. She couldn't believe what Renee had just told her, or why she would even tell her such a private thing; especially if she hadn't told Jack.

"I-I don't know what to say." She paused. "I'm so sorry, Renee."

"You don't have to say anything. I know you're wondering why I'm telling you this. It's because I want you to know that it's not the end. You can overcome it. Believe me, I went through a rough patch," she confessed, rolling up her sleeves to reveal her suicide marks. "But I got through it. I had someone by my side who helped me and cared for me." She smiled.

"Jack," Lucy responded.

"Jack," Renee agreed. "And you have all of us here for you," she added and grabbed Lucy to smother her with a playful hug.

Jack walked in the room, unaware of the conversation he was interrupting. "Oh. Hey, you two," he greeted in that soft voice Renee had fallen in love with.

He looked at the two girls, startled to see that they had been crying. Renee walked over to him. "Hey, we were just talking about stuff. It's okay, I promise."

He looked into her eyes, knowing she was lying. He turned to face Lucy.

Lucy wiped the rest of her tears away from her face. "Yeah, Jack. We're fine." she got up off the bed and headed to Renee, placing her left arm around her back. "Just girl talk," she added.

Renee put her arm around Lucy, giving her a wink before looking at Jack.

"Yeah, you know. Boys and stuff," she kid.

He could tell by their uncharacteristically giddy behavior that there was something they were hiding from him, but decided not to pry.

"Was there something you wanted?" Lucy jumped in.

He hated what he had to tell them. He looked at both girls, the woman he couldn't live without and the girl who had become much of a daughter. He didn't know how to tell them that the situation had become more critical than he had ever thought it could.

"I came here because I need to tell Renee something. You don't have to worry, Lucy. It's just about my plans," he lied.

Renee leaned down and kissed the top of Lucy's head, motioning for her to get some sleep and stepped outside, closing the door behind her.

"Renee, listen," Jack flung her around and frantically spat out what was happening. "Alan Wilson is not after Tony. He's after you. Suvarov is back…"

_

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Writers Note: Uh-oh… :P Thanks for all the reviews! See you in chapter 8!


	8. Keep Holding On

_Writers Note: Thanks for all the kind words everybody! Im will amazed at the support this story is getting! Please feel free to also give your concerns about anything that doesnt make sense to you! Enjoy the chapter! _

**Chapter 8 - Keep Holding On **

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* * *

Mood: "Cause you know we'll make it through, just stay strong"

* * *

**_

It was silent for a moment, maybe 10 minutes, before Renee snapped back to reality and realized what Jack had just told her. She shivered at the thought of all three of them on the loose. The feelings that went through Renee were too much for words. There was fear, there was pain, there was...hate. Hate against the universe for constantly putting her loved ones in danger. Would they ever be able to just be a normal family?

"He is?" she finally croaked.

"Yes. Renee, listen. If he's out that means Wilson is working with them, which also means Tony is too." Jack explained.

Renee walked away from him and began to pace. "What does this have to do with me?"

Jack hesitated. "When the Russians ordered the hit on you, I went on a rampage. I made anyone and everyone pay for what they did to you. I had a clear shot on Sovervo."

Renee went back to the scariest moment in her life. The day she was almost killed. She thought back to the stories she heard from Jack and from others but never heard about what happened after she was hit.

"Jack" she whispered. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Jack looked down, unsure of his reasons himself. "Because I was ashamed." he admitted. "I let my anger get the best of my better judgment. I was just furious when the nurses told me you probably wouldn't make it."

Renee was crashed as Jack looked at her, his sad eyes ripped right through her. As she looked into Jack's eyes, she felt the pain he did. She could feel his shame, and fear and it killed her. She loved him, and there was nothing he could do that could ever change that, but there was still something that she saw in his eyes that confused her.

"Wait, how is he back if you shot him?"

Jack stuttered. "I didn't"

"You did all that and let the lead guy go?" Renee said, confused.

She knew Jack was not the type to quit at something. It was not his nature...

"I knew you wouldn't want me to start a war in your name." he's eyes fell to the floor as Renee walked closer.

Suddenly it made sense. She knew she was still missing part of the puzzle, but he told her the answers she needed. She could feel how hard it was for him to tell her this, and didn't want to pry, but she couldn't help it.

"What does this all mean, Jack?" She asked.

Jack sighed and lifted his head to meet Renee's worried gaze. "I have to go after Tony."

"What? Jack, no! Your job is to clear things up with Chloe in San Francisco, not to go out in the field across the country!" Renee cried.

_Dammit! No! Not again! _

They were just starting to put their lives back together. She felt he wasn't fit to go into the field, and if she _thought _what was happening in her body was happening, he couldn't leave her now.

Jack gently placed his hand on her shoulders. "Renee," he whispered. "I have to do this. Once things become personal, there's no way I can turn back. You know that." He said, sweetly.

"But, Jack..."

She didn't want him to go. She needed him here. As much as she hated to beg, she knew it was something she had to try to do.

"Listen. These people can come after any of you if I don't go all in. Lucy can be put in danger. You know my family is always the first target."

This confused her.

_What does Lucy have to do with any of this?_

"Lucy has nothing to do with this, Jack" Renee stated.

Jack was confused as to why Renee was being so stubborn when she knew exactly how urgent this situation was. "Really?" he snorted "With a past like hers, it has everything to do with her."

"What are you talking about?" Renee asked, scared of what he was saying. She was a trained agent, she knew what he was talking about, but she didn't want to admit it. For the first time in a long time, things were almost perfect.

"They could bring anyone into this, to make it personal."

"If you're talking about Charles, he's locked up in a mental institute. He can't get out." Renee said, angrily. There was no reason to worry, or so she thought

"Renee" he said sweetly. "I'm not the only one who has connections. They can find out about her history with him and use him. Renee, you have to understand. I have to do this alone."

"Dammit Jack!" she croaked, letting her head fall into his chest as he cradled her like a baby. "You can get killed. You're not as fit as you used to be, Jack. Hell! You're retired!" she cried. There was a reason why he retired. They were done, they were out. She knew it was worthless to argue, after all, Jack was just as stubborn as she was.

Jack creased the corner of his lip up. "Are you calling me old?"

"Jack, I'm serious." she murmured, but couldn't help let out a small chuckle.

Renee looked up to meet Jack's loving gaze. As she looked into his eyes she could see nothing but love, and it made her heart stop. "Be careful, Jack." she murmured.

"Don't you worry about me. I'm Superman, remember?" he chuckled.

"Dammit, Bauer I'm serious!" Renee cried.

Jack grabbed her sobbing body and rubbed her back. "I'll be fine."

As much as she wanted to trust Jack, she couldn't. It hurt her to say it, but he was cursed. Just when things seem to be going well, something ruins it. All she could do was look into the eyes of the man she loved and pray to God that all this would work out okay.

Now all she had left to do was tell him her suspicion as to why she was throwing up recently.

* * *

I looked out the back window of the hummer, thinking about God knows what. Jack's plane was scheduled to leave at 4 pm. I watched as little Teri said her last goodbye to Jack and walked out the door, not knowing when she would see him again, if she ever saw him again. With the missions Jack goes on, it's impossible to know if you will ever see him again. I prayed to God I would. Kim left with Teri the second we got to the airport. She cried that she couldn't watch her dad put his life on the line again and didn't want Teri exposed to that kind of pain either.

Jack cleared customs, and Renee, Mackenzie and I sat with him in the waiting area. Usually, you're not allowed in if you're not a passenger of the plane, but in these situations, it's allowed.

My thoughts were interrupted when the PA intercom made an announcement. "Flights to Washington DC are boarding now. Please have your boarding passes and photo ID out and ready for security."

I got up to go get Renee, who had excused herself to go to the restroom earlier, when Jack grabbed my arm.

"Lucy, honey, I need you to do me a favour" Jacked looked into my eyes.

"What is it Jack?" I asked, "If you don't hurry you'll miss your flight"

"I know honey. I just need you to do something for me." he said.

"What?"

"Watch over Renee."

"Wait, what?"

"I know she hates to see me do this and I hate to leave you both, just please make sure she doesn't do anything. Reckless."

"Renee's a big girl, Jack. Shouldn't it be the other way around?" I asked, confused.

Jack chuckled. "Yea...but Renee is...different. There are things about her you still don't understand. Once her mind is made up, it's almost impossible to change it. She's going to be upset, I've seen it before. I just want you to look out for her."

"In case she comes after you?" I filled in.

"Precisely"

"I'm on the job!" I said, hip checking him and spinning around to see Renee walking back.

Jack laughed and looked up to see Renee walking toward us.

"Hey gorgeous" he greeted.

I could see that Renee's eyes were red and ran over to wrap my arms around her.

"You ok?" I asked "I'm fine, Lucy and Hi, Jack" she responded.

"Hey Lucy, can you give me and Renee a second alone honey?"

"Yeah, sure," I said and walked back to sit beside Mackenzie.

* * *

Jack waited until Lucy was out of earshot before he spoke"I can see the gears turning in your head, what are you thinking?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Renee asked, crossed.

Jack chuckled. "Lucy needs you more than I do at the moment. I can't take the risk of anything happening to you two...especially…" Jack placed a hand on her stomach "…since there may be something that needs to be kept out of harm's way." He kissed her on the cheek and whispered in her ear. "I love you, and I know what you're hiding."

Renee hadn't paid attention to anything Jack was saying until she felt his hand on her stomach. "How did you know?"

"I've been through this before...with Teri. I know what the signs are"

"I haven't even shown signs yet!" she complained. The reason she hadn't told Jack was because she wanted his mind to be clear on this mission. She didn't want him worrying.

Jack laughed. "Yes you have, trust me. And I know you don't want me to worry, but I always will, I love you guys too much not to worry."

"Jack..." she whispered, trying to inhale her tears but couldn't help crying.

He brought her into a hug. "It's ok honey. Don't worry. I promise, I'm going to come back fine. After all...This little guy might need me one day" He smiled.

"What makes you so sure it's going to be a little guy, hmm?" Renee teased.

"Bauer's intuition"

* * *

"Everything ok?" I interrupted.

Jack tugged me and brought me into a playful hug along with Renee, relishing in the moments he had with us.

"Everything's just fine" he murmured.

"Last call for passengers going to Washington," the intercom went off again.

Jack pulled away slowly and looked at us "I better go. Take care of each other. I'll call when I land. I love you Lucy." he said, turning to look into Renee's eyes. "I love you Renee."

Mackenzie ran over to join into the farewell. "Bye- Bye Jack" she said, putting her hands up in every toddler's 'pick me up' motion. "Love you too, Jack" Renee and I answered at the same time, and turned to look at each other, giggling away.

Jack picked Mackenzie up and swung her around, planting a kiss on her cheek. "Love you little one" He said, as Mackenzie wrap her tiny arms around his neck.

"I love you too." she said, kissing his nose.

Jack wrinkled his face and placed Mackenzie back on the ground, drifting his gaze to both of us

"… and I love you both too. I'll be home as soon as I can" He promised, kissing both me and Renee on the head before heading for the gate.

I looked up at Renee whose face was wet from her sobs. I gave her a side hug and watched as Jack showed his boarding passes, and walked onto the gate.

"We should go home now." I said

Renee sniffled and hugged me back. "Yeah, let's go."

We walked towards the door when Renee abruptly stopped and clutched the abdominal part of her stomach.

"Oh…" she moaned.

_

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Writers Note: Hmmmm... See you all in the next chapter! :)


	9. Innocence

_Writers Note: Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I've had my cousin over all week and other stuff that popped up so I couldnt find time. But I'm back now with lots of updates! _

_Just to let you guys know, This story is now on Twitter! Follow PainOfLove24 and Riley_Keller for updates on characters and the story! _

_Thanks for all the kind words! Enjoy you guys! _

**Chapter 9 - Innocence **

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* * *

Mood: "Waking up to see that everything is okay, the first time in life and now it's so great"

* * *

**_

I surveyed Renee. "Renee? What is it? Are you sick?"

"I don't know. I... ohhh!" she cried, clenching her stomach and pulling a knee down to support herself.

"What is it, Renee?" I panicked.

"I have cr…ohh!" she screamed again.

I stood there helplessly, trying to make sense of what was going on.

"What can I do?"

"Can you get me a…" Renee flinched as another jolt of pain hit her. I watched as she limped over to a sit, when I spotted a dark line running down her pants.

"RENEE!" I cried, terrified of the sight I was seeing. "You're bleeding!"

"Phone, Lucy. I need a phone." Her voice was shot.

"From where?" I couldn't stop panicking long enough to think.

"My bag." she cringed in pain.

I frantically dug through her bag when a thought came to me. "Wait, Renee you're not... you didn't get your test results back, did you?"

"Uh, yeah. They were fine. Just pass me my phone, please."

"Here." I handed her the phone. "Oh god Renee, you're drenched." I said realizing why that might be. "Y-your pregnant, aren't you?"

"Lucy, let me just make a phone call. Please"

"Dammit, Renee! Something could be seriously wrong with your and Jack's baby and you don't even care?" I cried, taking matters into my own hands.

"HELP!" I called.

Renee tried to shut me up but was in too much pain to speak again.

"Help!" I called again hoping someone would hear me. _What the hell was wrong with her?_

"Dammit Lucy, please...stop" Renee pleaded. I looked over my shoulder and gave Renee a nasty look, proceeding to run to a guard who was walking toward us.

"Sir!" I called.

"Ohhhh" I heard her moan again.

"Sir! Thank you! My...aunt she's... Well I think she's pregnant and she's bleeding" I explained frantically.

"I'll go call for help" he scampered off.

"AUNTY!" I had forgotten Mackenzie was witnessing the whole thing.

When I turned around, Renee was on the floor.

* * *

"Ma'am?"

My eyes flew open and fixed on the young man who had just shook me awake. He was way too young to be a nurse. Probably seventeen at the oldest. _Intern? Possible. _

"How is she?" I asked, concerned. "Was she…?"

"She's fine. You can go in now. The doctor wants to talk to you both." he ordered.

"Thanks."

I got up and walked forward. Truth was I wasn't ready to face Renee. Mentally, anyway. She had infuriated me. _She could have died if it hadn't been for me. _I thought. I walked to room 024 and opened the door.

I immediately locked eyes with the doctor who was sitting by a monitor, avoiding looking at Renee.

"What happened?" I asked the doctor. He held onto his grave look as he stared at a file of papers. "Is she ok?" I pressed, irritated.

I glanced at Renee, who shifted her gaze and focused on the blank wall. The doctor was still silent.

"Can you give me an answer?" I demanded. He looked up startled and stood up, lifting Renee's shirt in the process.

"Look at the monitor" he ordered.

I hesitantly walked over to the black and white screen and gazed at the area he was pointing too. "Whoa. Is that…?"

"A baby. Yes" he confirmed. I let out a sigh of relief and wandered my gaze back onto the screen, fascinated.

"It's so tiny" I murmured.

"That's because it's barely 10mm. She's three weeks along" he explain.

I looked over at Renee, whose face was sad and teary. She hadn't moved her gaze from the wall since I walked in.

"What's wrong with her?" I whispered in his ear. He turned the monitor screen off and collected his papers.

"I'm going to send in a nurse to check you over, Ms. Walker." he said as he stepped outside. "I'll leave you alone for a minute first" he added.

I looked over at Renee and walked to the side of the bed. I was so glad Kim came to get Mackenzie. I could sense this wasn't good.

"Renee?" I sighed.

Renee slowly turned and looked at me. I could see the pain and fear in her eyes.

"What's wrong? Are you still in pain?"

"No..." she answered. "Not the pain you think I'm in"

"Renee I'm sorry for freaking on you. I was just worried." I saw Renee close her eyes and sigh. "W...What is it?"

"Lucy... I..." She stopped.

I pulled myself up onto the bed beside Renee and pressed more gently this time. "Renee... you know you can tell me anything, right?"

"I know, Lucy...it's just..." She shut her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

I tried a different approach. "Have you told Jack?"

Renee shook her head. "No... No, I haven't told anyone."

"Whatever this is about, you can tell me," I tried to assure her. "I'm here for you, Renee. You know that."

Renee nodded slowly but kept her eyes focused on the white tiles of the hospital room floor. "I know."

"Renee, please look at me." When she looked up, I asked again. "What happened?"

A soft whimper escaped Renee's lips. "You...you were right." A tear slid down her cheek as she said the words. She crossed her arms lightly over her stomach. "I...I had a..." She couldn't finish.

I tried not to gasp in shock as the meaning behind Renee's words hit me. The whole truth she couldn't bring herself to say.

"Oh, Renee..." I covered my mouth with my hand and tried to keep from sobbing. "I'm so sorry..."

Renee said nothing and shifted her gaze back to the floor.

I wanted to ask how she could have had a miscarriage when she was still pregnant but decided she may need some space first. "Do you want a moment alone?" I asked sadly.

Renee rolled over and looked me in the eyes, gently placing her hand on my shoulders. "Just long enough for you to get something to eat."

"Renee don't worry about me, I'm fine. I want to make sure you are."

"Just go, honey. Get some food. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

"Okay" I agreed and left the room.

* * *

I walked down the long white halls of the hospital, peeping into different rooms and conversations as I walked by. The cafeteria was on the third floor. I made my way to the elevator and walked inside. I jumped when the door shot back open and the young doctor walked through the door.

I awkwardly moved over to the corner as the door closed and the elevator began to move.

"I'm sorry about what happened," he spoke.

_Was he talking about the baby or my experiences? _

I gave him a confused look.

"The…Your aunt?" he cleared.

The elevator doors opened and we both stepped out.

"Oh…"

We continued to walk down the hall when I turned around, blocking the doorway.

"What happened?" I asked. "I don't understand. I mean, she's still pregnant."

He looked down at his watch and sighed. "I'm on my break now. Care for lunch?"

I froze. _Was that a general question or did he just ask me out? _

"What I mean is, would you like to get a bite to eat while I explain?" he must have seen my petrified look.

"Uh, sure." I agreed awkwardly.

I stood back as he ordered his food. "You ordering?" he said, snapping me out of my daze. I looked at the food disgusted. It all looked like a bunch of gloop.

"Uh, I'm not hungry actually" I mumbled. "But I'll have a decaf, please."

He looked at me stunned.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"You drink coffee? What are you, like fourteen?"

"Sixteen, actually. And it's decaf. Free of caffeine" I said sarcastically

He passed me the cup and we headed to a table. "Besides, you're not much older than me. Seventeen?"

"I'll be at the end of next month."

I stared at him, a little dazed. He had blue-green eyes and light brown hair. He looked about 5'8 and was neatly shaven.

_Cute_

"What?" he asked. I sat back flushed.

_Did I say that out loud?_

"N…nothing. So what happened?"

He sat back in his chair and took a slurp of his soup. "Renee had two sacs." he began.

I sipped my drink and looked up. "Twins?"

"Yes and no."

'What do you mean?"

"She had two sacs but one wasn't developed. It happens sometimes in older women." he explained.

"So…she didn't lose a baby?"

"Technically, no. There was nothing there to begin with. Her body automatically reacted and got rid of it. To make room for the growing fetus." he explained. "But it can affect her the same as if she did lose one."

I leaned over, put my elbows down on the table and rested my head on my hands.

"So, all that pain and blood was from an undeveloped fetus?"

"Yes. Her body would react the same way as if it were a miscarriage."

I slid my fingers through my hair and held my hand to my neck.

"What can I do to help her?" I sighed.

"Give her some time, I guess. It's still a traumatizing experience, and in her mind she lost a life."

"The other baby is healthy though, right?"

"As far as I know, yes."

I slouched back in the seat and let out a loud sigh, blowing the strand of loose hair away from my face. I tried to think of a way to make this even the slightest bit easier for her. I looked up at him and got an idea.

"How high up are you in this hospital?"

He coughed on a mouthful of liquid and I couldn't help but giggle.

"Sorry?" he choked.

"Your rank or whatever it's called here in a hospital. What can you do?"

"I'm just an intern. I'm working for the summer for CO-OP." he said.

"Hmm. I need you to work the ultrasound monitor for me.''

He choked on another mouthful of soup, so I took it away until I finished my request.

"Excuse me?"

"I have to get Renee to see the baby. Once she does, I know she'll be okay."

"But I don't have clearance."

I looked around to see if anyone was listening in on our conversation. "So, sneak" I said, keeping my voice low.

"I can't just go against the rules."

"Oh, come on. It's not that big a deal." I grinned at him. "And I can sense you like a little trouble now and then."

He kept quiet, but after a moment of staring him down I knew I had him.

"Fine."

* * *

We both walked back to room 024.

"Wait, maybe I should go in first and ease her into it. She's still fragile"

"Good idea." he agreed

I twisted the doorknob and stepped inside. "You keep watch,"

Renee was leaned over the bed. Her face was in her hands and I could see her body shaking. I didn't have anything planned to say to her. One wrong word and I could damage her permanently. I closed the door as quietly as possible and tiptoed over to join her on the bed.

"Renee?" I whispered.

She sniffled and turned to face me. Her eyes were puffy and fire red. She must have been crying the whole time I was gone. I felt bad for leaving her.

I placed my arm around her back and pulled her closer. "Talk to me" I begged.

I felt her turn into my chest, slamming her face into my shoulder as she cried her eyes out.

"Awww, Renee. Don't cry. Listen, I know what happened." I tried to comfort her. "The intern told me. Renee it's not that bad. There was nothing to lose."

She let me go and looked down at her hands. I gently tucked my hands under hers and held them tight. "Renee, there was nothing there. Nothing died; it's not your fault. It's just nature."

"It must be me. Something wrong with me. That's why it happened." she mumbled.

"Renee, listen. It was an empty sac. It happens. But you have a perfectly healthy child inside you that's growing. That's what you should be thinking about. Not something that didn't exist."

"What if something happens to this one?" she choked between sobs, placing her hand over her stomach.

"You can't think like that, Renee. Remember what you told me when I first moved in? Fight fire with fire. You have to be strong. And besides, this baby is both a Bauer and a Walker. Can't get much tougher than that."

I saw the smallest turn of her lip form and I beamed. _Did that really work? _

"I've just lost so much over the years."

_Guess not. _

"Look, I know the feeling of losing things. I get it. But in this case, you really didn't lose anything. Nothing was there to lose, Renee. You have to stop blaming yourself."

"But…"

"Lie down." I ordered.

"What?"

"Lie down" I repeated.

"Why?"

"Just do it. Trust me."

Renee scooted over and lied back down on the bed with a puzzled look on her face.

"Stay there." I headed towards the door.

"Okay, come in now." I ordered him, pulling his shirt to get him in quicker.

"Lucy, what's going on?"

"Just stay there, Renee." I ordered, turning back to the intern. "Okay, do your magic"

I watched as he headed over to the monitor. I walked over to Renee and sat on the edge of the bed.

"He's going to show you your baby." I said calmly.

"No, Lucy, I…"

"Shh," I stopped her. "You're doing this."

"But I…"

"Renee, are you telling me you don't want to see your own kid?"

"It's not that I don't want to, Lucy." she whispered. "I'm afraid."

I reached out for her hand. "Don't be. Ready?"

Renee closed her eyes and exhaled. She nodded.

I watched as he placed the jelly on her stomach and slowly moved the sensor over her womb.

"See?" he pointed out.

Renee turned her head and the second she did, tears welled up in her eyes.

"That's...?"

"A baby. Yes" I repeated the doctor's words and we both giggled.

"It's so..."

"Tiny? I know!" I interrupted again.

Renee gave me a funny look.

"Sorry, a little excited." I admitted. I directed my next question at the doctor. "Can we tell if it's a girl or boy yet?"

"No, not yet. It's still too small to tell, but soon we should be able to." He smiled. I smiled back.

I glanced back at Renee, who was staring at the both of us.

"Am I missing something here?" she smiled.

I flushed "Uh, nothing."

Renee laid her head back on the pillow and sighed, glancing back at the screen. "This isn't a dream, right?"

I leaned over and gave her a little pinch on the arm.

"Hey!" she protested. "What was that for?"

"Guess you're not dreaming," I said with a wink.

She smiled.

'Well, I better turn this off before I get in trouble." The doctor decided

"Right, thanks so much for doing this. Has Renee been checked over?"

"Yes, Lucy, I have," Renee answered for him. "And I've been cleared."

I got off the bed and helped Renee stand back on her feet. I was startled when she pulled me into a tight hug and placed a kiss on me cheek.

"Thank you." she murmured.

"Anytime" I hugged back.

We headed to the door and Renee stepped out. I went to follow when I felt a tug on my arm.

"Will I see you around here again?" I heard him ask.

I honestly didn't want to come back here but I knew what his question really meant. I smiled and felt my face turn red.

"We'll see."

"Great!"

"I'm Lucy." I said, pulling my hand out.

"Jamison." He shook my hand. "But you can call me Jamey."

I felt Renee eyeing us and could hear her foot tapping as she waited.

"See you later." I said, running off to catch up to Renee.

She gave me a grave look as if I had hid a secret from her.

"What?" I asked.

Renee just looked at me and then bumped my hip. "You know what." she smiled.


	10. War

_Writers Note: These next few chapters are dedicated to a very close friend of mine named Jade. Her support towards the story has been nothing but amazing! Our three am Riley/Lucy "snooping" is irreplaceable. So thank you SpongeJade for always making me pick up my pen and continue with the chapters. I heart you! _

_Also like to thank Marina for role playing. Nothing can replace our midnight role plays. And Kim to my Renee for amazing suggestions. Thank you Danny for action edits! _

_Ok I'll shut up now! Enjoy! _

******

* * *

**

**Chapter 10 - War **

_**

* * *

Mood: "I would march across the desert to defeat my enemy, and I would lie here in the trenches with your picture next to me"

* * *

**_

"Jack turn left!" Chloe intructed via comm. "The warehouse should be on your right."

"I have a visual" he confirmed. "Listen up!" he called. "Chloe says there are about six moving bodies in there, but there could be more so watch your back!"

"Who's in charge of ops?" Cole asked.

"Agent Burke?" Jack eyed her. "You up for this?"

The young agent stood tall and gave a confident nod. "Yes sir." she agreed

"Ok, assume your position!"

Jack and four other CTU operatives Formed a line and placed their backs against the wall.

Jack signalled the team to stay still while he input the entry code Chloe gave him to the warehouse.

"Chloe it won't open!" he shouted.

"It should Jack, that's the only code there is" Chloe replied puzzled.

"Well, it's not opening" Jack said, irritated.

He tried again while Chloe searched her computer for other possible solutions.

"Wait" she called

"What is it?"

"Describe the lock"

"Black, square box, with pin numbers and digital format" Jack obeyed.

"Feel the bottom. Is there a clip?" Jack rubbed his forefinger along the edge of the lock.

"Yes!" He confirmed

"Pull that back and hold it while typing in the numbers"

Jack did as Chloe instructed and the lock clicked open.

"We're in!" he called.

The TAC team followed tentatively behind Jack, scrutinizing his every move.

"There's a suspect by a white van" he whispered into his comm.

"Cole, do you have a shot?"

He watched as Cole lined his scope with the male. "I have a shot!" he replied.

"Ok, once he takes this shot, the others will come running out so everyone get into position and keep your eyes open." he ordered.

Once Jack got a nod from each operative, he gave his last nod to Cole and cocked his gun.

_BANG._

The suspect by the white van fell down on the ground.

Four men with assault rifles and submachine guns came running out at the sound and Jack took another shot, hitting one of the guys in the head.

"Cole, back me up!" he ran to hide behind another crate as Cole shot at the remaining suspects.

"Chloe, have you spotted Tony yet?"

"Not yet Jack." she replied.

"Where's the next room?"

"Down the hall to your left. But Jack, you have to get through the mob first"

"Copy"

Jack snuck behind another crate and aimed his sight at another suspected, shooting him in the head as well.

He ran past another crate and took aim again, missing his next target but Cole had shot him shortly after.

Once Jack was sure the coast was clear, he stood up and ran for the next room, busting down the door, gun held high and screamed "Show yourself!"

He continued to search the room for others but it was empty. He found a laptop on the table.

"Chloe are you getting this?" he asked

"Yes Jack. It looks like some kind of tracking device."

"Dammit!" Jack shouted

"Jack, what is it?"

"They must have been tracking us the whole time! Tony was never in the building when we got here" he suspected.

Jack continued to scan the programs on the laptop when he heard a shuffle from the closet. He instantly upholstered his gun and raised it to the closet door.

"Who's there?" He shouted.

No one answered.

He continued to the closet door and turned the door knob to open it.

He cradled the trigger of his gun and looked around, moving bags and boxes until they revealed a young blond-haired girl, half naked, hiding among the clothes.

Jack lowered his weapon, and raked his short hair with his hands. He studied the child. She couldn't be much younger than Lucy. Fourteen at the oldest. She had her arms wrapped around her legs, her bloodshot eyes piercing right through Jack.

"Jack do you copy?" he heard Chloe shouting through the comm.

"We have a problem"

* * *

Jack walked out of the warehouse and headed towards to the CTU van, where the limp child sat petrified.

He knelt down to speak to her at eye-level. "Hi sweetheart, my name is Jack. Can you tell me your name?"

The girl shook in fright and wrapped the navy blue blanket around her body more tightly. "S-Serena" she whispered.

"Okay Serena, I promise I'm not going to hurt you, I'm here to protect you. Can you tell me anything about the man that did this to you?"

Jack saw how damaged the girl looked and was heartbroken when the memories of Lucy and Renee flooded back to him.

He waiting patiently until the girl was ready to explain.

"H-he was tall. Umm, the lights were off so I couldn't see him very well." she cried. "I think he had brown hair, I'm not sure though."

The girl sank into her hands and sobbed. "I'm sorry"

The girl was apologizing for the pain she was in. Just like Lucy.

Just like Renee.

"Hey...don't be sorry...what happened...it's not your fault...Is there anything else you can tell me about your...attacker?"

The girl tried to think of anything else she could say to help. "One of the guys who threw me in the closet had a weird tattoo"

"Did you happen to get a good look at the tattoo? I know this is hard, but any bit of information you can give me will go a long way"

"I uh..." the girl closed her eyes and tried to picture the markings."Some had snakes, some were weird shapes... a mixture of things. That's all I remember"

"Weird? Weird how?"

"I don't know!" she yelled in frustration. Jack looked at the poor girl.

_I really wish Renee was here right now...she would know exactly what to say. _Jack thought to himself.

It had been a long time since he had to connect with a victim, and he felt a little rusty.

"Serena...I know this is hard. I also know that you don't want to think about what happened, and put this all behind you...but we need your help to catch this man. If we can't..." Jack looked off into the distance and thought of Lucy. How scared and fragile she was after what Charles had done to her. "I just want to help you...I'll give you some time to think."

Jack moved away from the girl to give her some space to put her thoughts in order, and called Chloe.

* * *

Back at CTU Chloe was debriefing the group when she heard Jack over the comm.

"Excuse me"

Chloe stepped out and turned her comm on.

"What is it Jack?"

"Chloe, I've got a girl here. Looks like she's been sexually assaulted. She looks to be the same age as Lucy...as a matter of fact...she looks a lot like Lucy..."

Suddenly a light went on in Jacks head. He prayed to God that he was wrong.

"Did Charles have...any tattoos that distinguished him?"

"Not that I know of Jack. What kind of tattoos?"

"She said they looked like snakes...and they had some sort of weird shapes mixed in. I can't get much out of her due to the shock. Chloe...this girl looks almost identical to Lucy...I may be over thinking, but what if this is supposed to be a warning for me?"

"Jack, did you say snakes?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Nothing. Just when you said _snakes_... didn't the Red Square markings involve snakes?"

"It's possible...but what would Red Square have to do with any of this?"

_Red Square was diminished, wasn't it? _

"I don't know Jack. But if Tony's working with them, it's for serious reasons."

Jack paused, trying to put the pieces together. Nothing added up to Red Square having any motive to do anything like this. And Tony? He had no affiliation with them when he was working with Wilson. Hell, Wilson has nothing to do with them at all...nothing seemed to add up as to why they would be working together.

"Do you think they regrouped?" he asked.

"It's possible..." She paused. "Jack, if that's the case, is there anything that Red Square would want from Renee?"

Jack's heart raced at the mention of Renee. "What...what do you mean? You think... you think they would try to come after her? To..._hurt_ her?

Chloe paced and tried to think of a way to piece the puzzle together.

"Jack, I honestly don't know."

He knew there was only one thing left to do.

"Agent Burke!" he called.

The young CTU operative ran over to receive orders.

Jack took her behind the car and checked to make sure no one was listening.

"I need you to go LA and watch over my family." he said, keeping his voice low.

The request caught Agent Burke off guard. "Why me?"

"Because, you're around the same age as my niece. And I need someone around her she can trust. Sending any other agent here would freak her out." he explained.

The young agent pondered the request and raked her fingers through her long brown hair.

"Alright," she agreed.

"Jack, what's going on?" Chloe asked.

Jack sighed. "Chloe, get Renee on the phone."


	11. Chapter 11

_Writers Note: I am SO sorry for the late update. I have had some serious writers block lately. Also, my aunt had a baby so I've been up helping her out the passed week, so I havent had much time to think. I'm probably gonna take a small break from the story for a bit. With school starting, and the baby here, Im gonna be extremely busy. I'll try and update when ever I can! _

_Also, I now have names on my chapters. All are named after songs. Plus, there will be lyrics from the songs to express the mood of the chapter and the characters in the chapters. _

_Hope that all makes sense! Thanks for your patience! Enjoy chapter 11! _

**Chapter 11 **

Renee slammed the phone down on the kitchen counter.

"Dammit!" she cried.

She was sick of her past. Sick of how it always brought danger to everyone she loved.

_Damn you Laitanan! _Even from the grave, he still came back to haunt her.

_Lucy, please hurry._

"Aunty?" Mackenzie called.

Renee looked at the small child, cursing herself for reacting like that. "Yes honey, I'm ok...I'm just worried about Lucy. She should have been here by now..."

Mackenzie looked down, a sad look on her face. "She promised to take me to the park." She mumbled sadly.

Renee felt her heart break as she looked at the sad expression on Mackenzie's face."I know she did sweetie" Renee bended down to scoop Mackenzie up into her arms for a hug, "I'm sure she's on her way back right now"

"Ok" Mackenzie said, letting go of Renee to look out the big window, hoping to see Lucy riding back, sad when she didn't. Mackenzie turned around and figured this could be a good time to ask a few questions. "Aunty?""Yes sweetie?"

"Why doesn't Lucy call you 'Aunty' like I do?"

Renee was taken aback by the child's innocent observation. "Because...Lucy is more like..." Renee was at a loss for words. What do you tell a child who only understands the simple part of the family tree. Or one who just recently lost a parent? They never prepared her for these types of moments in her FBI training, and Renee was finding it hard to give an answer."Well honey...that's because she's more like a sister to me"

"But I thought Lucy was your niece?"

"She is...but...being a niece can feel a lot like being a sister...why do you ask sweetie?"

"I don't know" Mackenzie shrugged and walked to the big window again. She hung her head when Lucy still wasn't in sight.

"Aunty? Will you still love me the same after the baby comes?" She asked worried.

Suddenly everything made sense. Renee moved next to the little girl and put her arms around her shoulder. "Of course I will sweetie...No matter what, my love−and Uncle Jack's love−for you will always be the same. You're our little angel, always remember that."

The little girl shrugged and laid her ear to Renee's stomach. "I can't hear anything" she whispered, concerned. "Is she okay?"

Renee chuckled. "Yes she is. She's a healthy baby." Renee took Mackenzie's hand and placed it on her stomach. "Can you feel those little nudges? That's your little cousin. Renee watched the little girl for her reaction.

Mackenzie's face lit up when she felt a small kick. "Doesn't that hurt?" "It doesn't actually." Renee smiled. "Hey honey, you want to help me pick out some names for the baby while we wait for Lucy?"

Mackenzie let out a squeal and clapped her hands. "Okay!" she jumped. "She's a girl, right? I hope it's a girl!" she cried. "Boys are icky!" she decided, making a funny face.

"Well, I think it's a girl." Renee picked up the child and brought her to sit on the couch with her. "What sounds like a pretty girl name to you, honey?"

Mackenzie placed her forefinger on her chin, lost in thought. "Hmm, I like Aurora!" she said, naming off her favourite Disney princess. "What do you like?"

"Hmm, well that's a pretty name, but it's also your favourite princess, silly!" Renee caught on as Mackenzie giggled. "What about Lillian?" Renee added.

Renee glanced at the clock sitting on the table in front of them, wondering what on earth Lucy could be doing.

Mackenzie made a funny face "No. Not that. There's a girl in my daycare named Lillian and I don't like her"

Renee laughed at Mackenzie, attempting to be carefree for the girl's sake."Alright then... how about Savannah?"

Mackenzie wasn't paying attention to what Renee was saying. She was trying to think of the name Lucy always obsessed over. She knew it was a name Lucy would pick and knew it would mean a lot to her. She sat motionless for awhile when it hit her.

"Abigail" she whispered.

"Abigail..." Renee repeated, loving how the name sounded. "I like that."

"Lucy loves that name. I think it's pretty" She struggled. "What happens if it is a boy?" she said, making a disgusted face.

'If it's a boy, why don't we name him Jack?"

"That's Uncle's name!" the tiny child protested."You're right, but I think Uncle would like that, don't you?"

"Maybe for a middle name?" She paused to think again. "I don't know many boy names. I don't like boys. But Connor is nice, I guess. Or Michael" Mackenzie fiddled with her fingers and looked down sadly.

"Mackenzie, sweetie, what's wrong?"

Mackenzie started to remember why Lucy loved the name so much. "Abigail was Mommy's middle name," she said sniffling

Renee took the child into her arms and wrapped her into a hug."I know you miss her sweetie"

Mackenzie cried into Renee's chest, nestling her head under her chin.

Renee could do nothing but hold the girl in her arms. She knew all too well what it felt like to lose a loved one, and knew that sometimes it was best to just cry it out.

"Why did the bad guy hurt mommy?" she sobbed "She didn't hurt him, did she?"

Renee felt heartbroken listening to the little girl crying in her arms. "No honey...your mom...was protecting you. She was a hero."

"It's not fair!" she squealed.

"I know it's not fair, honey. Sometimes things happen in life...that will never make sense, and never seem fair. But no matter what, always remember that you have people who love and care about you very, very much."Renee felt her heart warming up as she spoke...she said this, not only for Mackenzie's sake, but for her own. She knew that what Jack had to do wasn't fair either...but in the end, she knew that no matter what, her love for him, and his love for her would bring them together again.

Mackenzie buried her face into Renee's shoulder, sobbing and mumbling away as Renee held her. . "Hey sweetie, do you want to get ready to go to the park? Lucy should be home soon. Let's get you ready so you guys can leave as soon as she gets back."Renee hugged the little girl in her arms, hoping that the prospect of going to the park would help cheer her up, and chase her little demons away.

Mackenzie wiped her tears away with the back of her hand and propped up on Renee's lap. "Ok" she whimpered.

"Now, let's turn that frown upside down little one...and if you don't, I'm going to have to tickle you!"Renee began to tickle the little child, until they both were laughing hysterically.

* * *

"Thanks for the ride, girl" I said as I stroked the back of the beautiful horse. I figured I shouldn't dilly dally, seeing that I promised Renee I'd be home within half an hour and that was at 11 am. I glanced at my watch.

"Shoot!" I yelled when the clock read 2:30. I ran out of the horse barn and down the hills, the strong wind burning my face. I was exhausted by the time I reached the deck and opened the screen door. "I'm home!"

Renee looked over to see me standing in the foyer. "Mackenzie, sweetie, why don't you run upstairs and get your stuff together? I need to talk to Lucy for a second. Ok?"As soon as Mackenzie was out of the room, Renee turned, arms crossed across her chest, and stared at me.

"Where the hell have you been?"

_Whoa what's up with her? _"I... was out riding. I thought I told you"

"No you didn't. You said you would be back in 30 minutes. That was more than 2 hours ago! Why the hell didn't you call me? Do you have any clue how worried I've been? With everything that's been going on, why the hell would you do this?"

I froze in terror. "Renee calm down. I went up the hills and down the fields. I had to detour coming back because the wind was blowing sand around. And my phone is over there charging." I pointed to the side table.

"Why the hell would you leave the house without your phone? After everything that's happened, why would you leave without a way of reaching anyone in case of an emergency? After what happened with Charles, you would think-"Renee suddenly stopped.

I just stood there frozen.

_What the hell happened to her?_

I knew she was pregnant and the stress from the baby and her hormones changing could be mood swings, but she said Charles. What did he have to do with this? I continued to stare at her, petrified at what she might mean.

"Lucy...I'm sorry. That was out of line...I was just worried. With Jack gone...and given this family's history...I panicked. I love you...and I don't know what I would do if I lost you."

"It's fine Renee. I understand. But I'm fine okay? I'm home with two legs and two arms. I'm okay." I said trying to comfort her. I heard Mackenzie jumping down the stairs and turned to meet her. "LUCY!" she squealed and climbed up into my arms. "Hey kiddo. Sorry I'm a little late. Ready for the park now?" As I placed her down, I noticed what she was wearing and turned to Renee. "A dress? For the park?"

"Don't look at me. And don't think that I've forgiven you...you better take your phone with you this time"Renee walked over to give Lucy a hug. "And if you ever scare me like that again...I will be forced to kick your ass"

I hugged her back and giggled. "Fair enough, but you're going to have to catch me" I joked.

"Ha-ha. Very funny missy. Now take this little one to the park. She's been waiting very patiently for you to get back"

I ran over to the side table, grabbed my phone and shook it in the air, giving Renee a funny face. I took the tiny hands of my cousin into mine and walked to the door, startled when she abruptly ripped out of my hands. I turned around and watched as she ran into Renee's arms. "I love you, Aunty." her high pitched voice was cheery. "And you're my hero too" she added. I looked at both of them confused. Renee was taken aback for a second, and hugged the little girl tight"I love you too sweetie. You're still my little angel"

I was about to ask what I had missed while I was out but decided that it wasn't any of my business. And besides, I thought it would be nice for Renee and Kenzie to have their own secrets. Something special for the both of them. "Ready to go kiddo?" I askedMackenzie ran back to me and grabbed my hand. "Ready!"

* * *

"Slow down!" I called after McKenzie.

"Gotta catch me, first!" she giggled as she ran up the hill towards the swing set.

She was already over and down the hill, by the time I reached top.

"Lucy, push me!" she squealed.

I ran as fast as I could over to the swing sets and grabbed the back of her seat.

"Hold on, sweetie"

I began to push her slowly at first, then picked up the speed as she demanded.

"Higher!"

I pushed harder.

"Higher!"

I found myself lost in thought while I continued to push the child. Memories that had left me long ago, can flooding back all at once.

My old friends.

Lilly's face popped into my head first. She was always the sweet and innocent acting one. Always the conflict manager, trying to resolve arguments and spats that the rest of us got into.

Kate was next. She was more of the adult figure, seeing as she was three years older then we were. She was also the detective type. Read books that had to do with mystery and murder. Loved shows that had to do with crime solving, or FBI work. Always ready for action.

Then there was Riley. She was… well, she was the trouble maker. Always got into things she wasn't suppose too, did everything but was asked of her. Constantly smiling, yet she always had this look on her face as though she was hiding something.

My thoughts were interrupted when a voice called from afar.

"Lucy!"

I turned in the direction of the strangely familiar voice. It almost sounded like...

"Lucy! Over here!"

Riley was standing a few feet behind me, waving.


	12. Chapter 12

"R-Riley?" was all I could say. I haven't seen her since my 13th birthday party. I immediately moved out to LA with Sarah after my parents died, mostly to escape my past, and cut all ties to my old friends. I stood there motionless, staring at my former best friend.

"Yeah, it's me." She flashed a friendly smile.I continued to stare in shock, unable to think coherently. It was as if the door between my past and the present had burst open in that moment.

Riley waved her hand in front of my face in an effort to break me from my daze.

"Luuuuuucy? You ok?""W-w-hat are you... what are you doing here?" I said pulling her into hug.

"Oh, you know..." Her voice trailed off. "So how have you been? You've never tried calling me and I didn't know where to reach you. I've missed you!"

"I...uh..." I felt ashamed for putting her in the dark for all these years. "I did try and reach you, but you must have moved by the time I tried because the number had changed." I glanced over to make sure Mackenzie was still in sight.

"Oh yeah..." She looked down. "Sorry about that."

"What happened to you anyways? And how did you find me?" I asked. I found it odd. She just showed up here, out of the blue. I saw Mackenzie running over to me from the corner of my eye and turned around to meet her.

"Lucy?" she suddenly stopped. "Who's that?"

"An old friend, sweetie. This is Riley"

Riley smiled at the little girl. "Hi." She looked back at Lucy. "I, uh.. was just in the city."

"Vacation? Visiting?"

"Something like that.. I just moved here with my mom. We move around a lot though..."

"Mackenzie why don't I take you home?"

I saw the tiny girls face sadden. "Why?" she asked.

I bit my lip. _What would I tell Renee? _She was already upset with me for being over 2 hours late. Bringing her home so soon because I wanted to catch up with a friend I cut ties with wouldn't impress her much. "Never mind, go back to the swings. I'll be there soon"

"You know, for the 7 years I knew you, I've never met your mom."

Riley chuckled nervously. "She's...busy a lot. And different. I don't think you'd like her much so it's ok."

"Psh, Ri, I'm sure she's fine. I believe that she's different, only because you are" I chuckled "But I'm sure she's great"

"Hey!" Riley exclaimed in mock hurt. "What's that supposed to mean?"

We both giggled as Riley attempted to change the subject. "So, you live here now? With...?"

"That's actually a long and complicated story. One that would take hours to explain." I said, shaking me head in embarrassment.

"I have time. Maybe I could come over sometime?"

I grinned. Riley had never had a problem inviting herself over. "I'd like that."

"I'd like that. Problem is, getting that monkey to go" I said with a smirk.

"Sweetie, why don't we head home?" I asked hoping she would be understanding.

"But we weren't here long." she whined. I saw her glance up at Riley and gave her cut eye.

"I know. But you see, Lucy hasn't seen Riley in a very long time. I want to catch up with her." Mackenzie hung her head sadly and I couldn't feel more horrible.

"Besides, Aunty Kimmy should be here soon."Mackenzie perked up. "Remember your going for the night?"Mackenzie smiled and shook her head.

"Ok let's go home!"

* * *

Mackenzie skipped along as Riley and I walked in silence. I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact Riley was here. Walking beside me. We used to be like sisters. Did everything together. To be honest, in a way I was glad to have her back but wasn't looking forward to the explanation I would have to give her soon

"Lucy?" Mackenzie voice brought be back to reality.

"Yes?"Mackenzie hesitated.

"Why don't you call Renee Aunty like I do?"

The child's innocent question shocked me. I didn't know the answer to that. It just never accrued to me that it mattered. I glanced over to Riley who looked extremely old Riley. I thought.

"I don't know Kenzie, I guess it's because I was older when I met her. I would feel weird." I explained.

"You didn't call mommy Aunty either"

"I know sweetie. But...Where are these questions coming from?"

Mackenzie shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know," she shyed. I tried to get into her little mind and figure out why she would ask those questions, when I stopped abruptlyI bent down to her level and put my hands on her shoulders.

"Look, just because I don't use labels doesn't mean I don't love them. Labels don't mean anything. Aunty, uncle, cousin, are just polite ways of calling people." I tried to explain. "For example, I don't call you cousin Mackenzie do I?" I said making a funny shook her head.

"That sounds funny"

"Exactly, but that doesn't mean I don't love you. Same with Renee and.." I choked on the thought of her. "Mommy." I paused.

"Just feels weird to me." Mackenzie shrugged again. "Okay" I stood back up and realized we were right outside the gate to the house.

I turned to see Riley, standing by the gate, a mesmerized look on her face. "You okay?" Riley stared at the estate that lay before them, and then turned to Lucy, puzzled. "Why are we stopping here?"Lucy giggled. "Riley, I live here.""You...you live HERE?" Riley's jaw dropped. "What is this place, Buckingham Palace?"

I looked down at Mackenzie who busted out laughing. "Pretty much, Ri" I said tapping her on the shoulder. "Come on, gets go inside"

Riley looked too shocked to respond as we proceeding towards the mansion that was now my home.

The second I opened the door, Mackenzie ran in and wrapped her arms around Renee's legs. "Gotchya, Aunty!" she squealed. When I turned to Riley, her face looked both stunned and pained. "What's up?"

Riley shook off the look. "Nothing." She smiled, but it fell short of her eyes. She lowered her voice so only Lucy would hear. "Is this your aunt?"

I knew Riley all to well when her nothings were something's but decided to get it go for now. "Yea it is," I waved Riley to follow behind as I waked over to Renee.

"Lucy your home early," Renee said, folding her arms across her chest.

"I know, I uh... Bang into someone." I turned to Riley. "Renee, this is Riley Keller. She's..." I couldn't figure out what she was anymore. Seeing as though I hadn't seen her in 4 years. "... an old friend of mine." Renee uncrossed her arms and pulled her hand out politely. "Hi, Riley. Nice to me you"

Riley hesitated and awkwardly shook her hand.

"You too" she mumbled.

"Lucy, I have to go into..." Renee paused.

"Into work. Something popped up."

There was no way in hell I was going to let her go into work pregnant. Jack would never allow it.

"Renee can I speak with you for a second?" I asked, turning to my guest.

"Do you mind?" Riley had been gazing up around the foyer.

"Huh, oh yeah sure. I'll wait here"

I grabbed Renee's arm and stepped out the screen door.

"What on earth are you thinking, Renee?"

I scowled her "Lucy listen..."

"No you listen! Your 2 months pregnant. Not exactly visible yet. And no one at CTU knows about the pregnancy. Your NOT going into the field! Jack would go ballistic if he found out!""Lucy!""and what I'm I suppose to..."

"LUCY!" she screamed. "If you listen for 5 minutes I can explain."

I crossed my arms over chest and glared at her.

"Jack called me earlier today. That's why I was so antsy for you to get home earlier. Something came up that I need to help with." I looked through Renee's eyes, trying to see if there was any hint that she was wasn't. "Jack called you to go into the field?"

"No not the field. Look, someone does know about the pregnancy." she paused "Chloe"

"O'Brian? Why does she know?"

"She's the only person Jack or I could trust that kind of information with. Anyways, listen I'm only going to help along side Chloe at CTU. I won't be going into the field."

"How long?" Renee relaxed a little and placed a hand on my fore arm. "For as long as they need me. I'll be gone every morning around 10 and back around 6. Some days they may not need me. But others I may stay or leave earier."

I raked my fingers through my hair and grabbed the back of my neck. "What about..."

"Already took care of. Kim will be here at 9 to take Mackenzie to daycare with Teri. She'll be back around 4."

I let out a shy. "You..." I cut off and looked away for a minute preventing tears from falling. Renee wrapped her arms around me. "You be careful Renee." I begged.

"I won't do anything I think will be stressful for the baby. I promise." she cleared. "I have my office number on the counter if you need me." I gave her one last squeeze and let her go.

* * *

Kim came to pick Mackenzie up ten minutes after Renee took off. Riley and I sat on the couch in silence. Each time I glanced over, she was always looking around the massive living room. I was getting sick of the quiet and spoke. "So, what has been happening with you lately?" I asked.

"My mom... She..." Riley paused and her eyes shifted down to the floor. "She left my dad. That's why I'm here. We moved again."

I knew all too well what it was like to lose a parent. "Why did she leave?" I asked.

"It's complicated, Lucy. I don't really want to talk about it." Riley not wanting to talk? This was so not normal.

I figured that it was probably hard for her to talk about though. "It's okay, Ri. I understand"


End file.
